All the goodbyes

Farewell Weekend and the Last Couple Days

Well here I am, sitting in the Frankfurt Airport. When I arrived here, I was so shell-shocked to be in Germany. Now I’m back again reminiscing on all the amazing times I had this semester. I feel like I accomplished what I set out to in Germany, which is why I am feeling ok about leaving. I have a lot to accomplish still, but the next bout of tasks is in Albuquerque then College Station. I’m excited for what I have lined up in both places. I’m sure the bittersweet sadness will hit eventually but I really feel neutral now. Maybe it just hasn’t sunk in that I’m leaving.

            I’ve decided I’m going to have an amazing life. My theory is that I have the intelligence, independence, and drive to accomplish anything I want to, but now my mission is to figure out what I want to set out to do. I want to travel and see the world; there’s so much stuff that I haven’t seen and it would be a tragedy to go my whole life without it. Of course, I won’t be able to see every rock and corner in the world but there are some amazing sites left to experience. I want to have a family and love them with all of myself. I want to have a career I love at a company or place whose goals I fully support. I want to use my intelligence for curing some of the ailments and pain in the world.

            This semester I made a ton of close friends that I am looking forward to seeing in College Station. I love all the time I’ve spent with them and saying goodbye was difficult. The fall semester should be fun as I expand my friends and get to see how some of my closest friends from Germany are in Texas and where they come from. It’s funny to think I may never have been so close to people who were so physically close to me without all of us travelling across the world to meet.

I probably won’t live with Camella again ever, and she was a phenomenal roommate. I feel like she pushed me to be more independent and on top of my shit even without her trying. She is an incredible person and I am so happy I got spend most of my time in Germany by her side.

            This past week I got the chance to say goodbye to so many things. I said goodbye to the Rhineland when we went on a Rhine cruise and climbed to Marksburg castle (one of my favorites of the semester). I said goodbye to bars and clubs for a while over the weekend when I went out drinking and partying to celebrate the end of our schoolwork and finals. I feel like I really adopted the European culture of wanting to drink as a social occasion and not to get drunk. I said goodbye to my time in Germany with Darby, Camella, and Deanna with a three month delayed birthday celebration at a Spanish tapas bar (best idea ever) and the subsequent walk and tour of our favorite places around the city. I said goodbye to the Rhine sitting on the bank when I dipped my feet in. I said goodbye to Bonn and Beuel during my last day with Regina as we got ice cream, Bonnsch, and Italian dinner. I said goodbye to Regina afterwards at the house when she gave us one last “long talk” and told Camella and I how much we will achieve in life and how much she liked having us around. I said goodbye to my friends at the airport. And now, I get to say goodbye to Germany in a couple hours when I take off.

            In the future, I may only be visiting Europe and not living here. I am incredibly grateful for the experience this program gave me and I want to talk the peace, independence, and lessons I have learned “down off the mountain” and back into my home life and college life.

            I’m incredibly excited to see Jaxon and my parents and my friends back home. I think it’ll be a summer for the books. I’ll be curious to see how I have really changed and what I miss from Germany. Hopefully, the person I am in this moment is not among that list.