Reflection Post

Summer is already about halfway over and I still talk about Germany all the time. People still haven't stopped asking me about it and I still haven't come up with that perfect answer to the question. It's definitely made me want to travel even more and go back to Europe to finish seeing everything.

Harrison and Kunal, if you guys read this and make fun of it, I will leave your terrible childhood pictures from Facebook taped onto the doors of your labs :)

This reflection post is supposed to be really long and cover everything, but I don't even know where to begin. There's so much about this trip that I could talk about.

I heard about this program during my new student conference two years ago and I wanted to go ever since. I started off in a different major my freshman year though, so I thought I couldn't apply and gave up on going until Dr. Wasser brought the students from last year to talk to our physiology class. My parents definitely did not want me to go and tried to convince me to stay right up until the day I left for Frankfurt. As expensive as this trip was, I am so glad I went.

I went into the trip with a checklist of things I wanted to get out of it and for the most part, I completed the list. I wanted to get all As (which didn't really work because I dropped the ball on physiology), be able to get honors credits, finish diffeq without having to take summer school, visit a concentration camp, travel as much as possible with the money I had, get to know my host family, make friends with the people on the trip, be more independent, and convince my parents that I am capable of doing things on my own. I think the biggest success of this trip is that I showed my parents that I can travel alone and manage money pretty well, so that deserves a nice yaaaassss.

The part of the trip I was most scared of was getting along with the other people on the trip. I used to dread the pre-departure meetings because I didn't know anyone and I was so afraid they wouldn't like me, so I usually ran to the back of the room and didn't talk to anyone. It's hilarious to think about that now because I can't imagine this summer or this next year without them. It's crazy how much being around them motivated me to do more with my summer, like getting into a research lab or applying to be a camp counselor. They're pretty great people and I am so glad I get to be friends with them.

Something I'm really happy about is the fact that we had pretty great teachers in Germany and I learned a lot. Back home, everyone was struggling with signals and diffeq, but Esteban tried pretty hard to teach us and I got a lot of help from all the other biomedical engineers. We also had an awesome tutor for diffeq who definitely saved my grade. More than that, I'm really glad I got to learn from Dr. Wasser. We already knew he that he's a fantastic physiology professor, but all of the lessons he gave us on our excursions were an awesome bonus.

In the past two months, my host mom has texted me several times with updates on my host brother's confirmation and floor hockey games or on my host sister's triathlons. As weird as it felt living in a stranger's house for so many months, I miss it a lot. I miss studying on their dining table with the light flooding in through all of their many windows. Now that I think about it, they had a lot of windows. I miss learning German with them at the dinner table and partially understanding the arguments my host siblings had with their parents. I did not get the chance to get very close with my family since I spent so much time studying at the AIB, but my host parents were so kind and I miss talking to them quite a bit.

Last but not least, the traveling! We saw so many places. I got to see Vienna, Amsterdam, Rome, Barcelona, Berlin, Paris, and Prague. It was so amazing to see the places that I've read about in books and see the history in them. This was mostly Rome, since you could wander anywhere and come across a ruin. I loved experiencing all the different cultures, languages, and people. Vienna, Prague, and Barcelona were beautiful cities. I had so much fun traveling the past few months. I learned so much and saw so many cool things, like the museum in Vienna or the catacombs in Rome. Damn, I love traveling.

So far in the weeks that I've been back, all of my family and friends ask me about the trip and I say "it was great!" The most common reaction is "that's it?" No, that's not it, but I can't describe it in a word and there's not enough time in the world for me to go through every amazing memory I have of the trip. I can't talk about that time we climbed through a fence when we got stuck in a park in Bacelona, or when we went to the top of the dome of St. Peter's Basilica, or that last day in Vienna when we rushed to grab every tram possible so we could see one last church before we left, or when Hazel, Ryan, Amy, and I would go sit in a coffee shop in a random city and just talk, or the many nights in Bonn when we would go grab drinks after class. That's barely even scratching the surface. Who could forget that time in class when Dr. Wasser yelled at the laptop or when he saw Mitchell eating a Berliner and stopped class to talk about donuts, or when he sang Baby Got Back in class/on the bus to Aachen/at a restaurant?

The trip may not have been completely life-changing, but it changed my mindset and was a great experience that I won't forget. I am so happy I had the chance to go to Germany and meet these amazing people. 

Final Reflection

Since yesterday was the Fourth of July, I have been especially aware that I'm living in the United States of 'Merica lately. I also realized that I have the privilege of being aware of my location compared to alternatives because not that long ago, I wasn't living in the US and the vast majority of people never have the opportunity to be so aware of this fact because they have never known anything different.

Upon my realization that I have a unique opportunity to reflect upon living in what I believe to be the greatest country on Earth, I also am reflecting on how incredible it was that so recently, I was immersed in a culture and location so different.

It would be very easy for me to just dwell in sadness and longing for the idealized life I lived last semester. In retrospect, everything was wonderful and happy and I had the best time of my life. I of course feel a portion of sadness that time has passed and that wonderful period of my life has come to a close, but I'm trying to focus on how wonderful my life is here in Texas and just appreciate the experiences I had and things I learned last semester.

I learned the following things:

1) I am a strong, independent woman that needs no significant other or male counterpart in order to function successfully. Actually, I can do much more than just function successfully by myself, but I can find deep joy and satisfaction in life by myself.

2) I am capable of being a competent and confident traveler anywhere in the world.

3) I have no reason to be intimidated by other's apparent intelligence and I should not be afraid to ask for help from people.

I'm sure I learned so much more than I realize right now and I look forward to continually realizing and appreciating my broadened perspective.

It's crazy to think about the time right before I left for Germany, which was more than 6 months ago, I had actually decided I didn't want to go. I was so scared to leave my boyfriend and family that I seriously considered canceling and honestly would have if there wasn't large financial loss. Looking back, I was not wrong or pathetic to be afraid, it was a reasonable reaction. I was brave to a certain extent though and I am sooooooo thankful that I pushed through and didn't dwell on my fear of loneliness. I don't know where I would be if I had decided to cancel the trip, but I am sure that I am in a better place in life than I was before the trip.

Reflection (think: Mulan song)

It's been almost seven months since I stepped off the plane, jetlagged and confused, into the Frankfurt airport. Seven months since I met many of my dear friends for the first time. Seven months since I started believing that I could actually make my dreams come true and that it was worth it to believe in myself.

I don't want to romanticize Germany too much, but it was seriously a life-changing experience for me-- it helped me develop maturity, confidence, and determination that I'm not sure I could have achieved in College Station. Let me tell you about how all this happened.

From the first time that I heard about the Bioscience semester abroad (in Dr. Scanlan's veeerry easy microbiology class, it's a miracle I was even in lecture that day!), I felt a bittersweet longing to do the program. I say "bittersweet" because although it sounded like a blast, I was convinced that I would not be able to go. Human shortcomings these days are often the product of an over-rational mind, and in this case mine was telling me "why do you deserve to go on a trip like this? Your GPA isn't super great, you need more clinical hours to be a competitive professional school applicant, you're giving up your organization position, and then there's like the big things: $20-something THOUSAND dollars and YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE!!!!" So, almost as a joke, I applied to the program. Most of me was just doing it because Ryan, my boyfriend, had applied and I wanted to show him that I could get in the program, too. But I also think there was a little bit of me--a dreamer part of me---that was saying "but it would be REALLY cool if you DID go!"

Once I got accepted into the program, I asked my parents about it and their initial reaction was "No," for the same reasons that I mentioned above. However, as the semester dragged on and Ryan went to his orientation meetings and talked about the people that were going on the trip, the idea became lodged in my mind. I began to actually WANT to go! Fortunately, Dr. Wasser took some significant time to email with me and skype with me about the implications of going on a trip and was able to convince me that the risk was worth the benefit. I prepared a powerpoint presentation to my parents (yeah don't judge me) to convince them that this trip was worth the finances and time away from home. After some debate, they finally agreed and I finally committed!

When I made up my mind to go to Germany, I decided that it would be my "do things you have wanted to do but were too scared to" trip. I was determined to crush my grades and not be afraid to ask for help (yeah, I went through my first two years of college as a self-determined martyr regarding academics and then wondering why I wasn't as successful as people who sought out help haha--that definitely needed to change). I also wanted to work on my overall health and fitness, as I had been relatively sedentary since I came to college. Since this trip was totally uprooting me from my complacent habits, I figured it would be a good time for some good old-fashioned self-improvement.

When I finally met my host family, I immediately knew that they would be a huge help in my journey to self-discovery and re-motivation. They are brilliant, healthy, and happy people and have learned how to balance success and productivity with relaxation and relationships. During my whole semester, they encouraged me to eat nutritiously (and introduced me to pumpkin soup and homemade vegan pizza!), gave me advice about running and exercise, and (most importantly) finally demanded that I stop studying and go out and have a beer with friends! I don't know if my trip would have been as successful without them taking me in as part of the family and showing me what a healthy, happy lifestyle looks like.

Ryan came over all the time and helped me with my fitness goals and helped me not be lonely. I lived close to the Rhine, so we would run together relatively often (1-2x a week), or just hang out because we could. I can't believe his dedication to me. He would travel 45 minutes one-way on the public transportation just so he could see me outside of school. This trip was really a litmus test to show us as a couple how much we cared about each other. :)

The other people in the group provided a constant source of entertainment (even though sometimes we got on each other's nerves!!). There was a comfortable coexistence that we had by the end of the semester that was a result of constant proximity, general--if not grudging--acceptance, and I honestly think genuine friendship. I'm not going to lie, at first I was like "these people are all CRAZY" but sitting down and talking 1-on-1 showed me that everyone was really cool in their own way. 5 months together ensures that you pretty much know everyone's weird thing by the end of the semester, and since you hang out with them all the time you're pretty much ok with it. I could depend on pretty much anyone to be there for me if I was stressing or needed someone to complain to. I never felt lonely or un-included. While I'm not going to claim that I'm now best friends with everyone in the group, I definitely made some close friends and am happy to say that those friendships are thriving! It's crazy to think that I might not have met these amazing people if I hadn't come on the trip.

The TA's and Dr. Wasser were always around and willing to give extra explanations. I think this extra-thorough teaching made me more interested and helped me remember small details that contributed to my success in the class. Those loooooong physiology review sessions (think: 3 hours or so!) were SO TERRIBLE but they were worth it!!

Because of all these external factors, I began to believe in myself when before the trip I was kind of letting the world run me over. And this new mentality carried over into my life: I ran in the Bonn marathon, I was successful in all my classes, and I wasn't afraid of trying new things!

The "icing on the cake" for this trip came at the end of the semester when we were presenting our device design projects to enmodes. Dr. Kauffman and his colleagues pulled me and Garrett aside at the end of the presentations and offered us positions to come back and intern with the company. We are planning on going next summer! So even though the journey has ended for now...it's only the first installation of what could turn into a saga.

Conclusion: I still don't know what I want to do with my life. Sigh. But I know now that I have options, and I have the determination to achieve them. I have new, amazing friends, a fantastic boyfriend, and a good life. I have a trip back to Germany planned already! How can I not be thankful for all of the wonderful things that happened through this trip? I'm so glad that I was able to go.

Favorite Memories:
Dance party with Cameron and Ana when we were studying for our final!
Prague beer-tasting where Ryan and I met a random British marathon runner and then he took us out to dinner because beer/nice people are nice. Also the Kozel beer, which was like a caramel frappachino beer basically.
Rooming with my buds Hazel and Jane in Vienna and staying up late talking about life.
Conversations with Koi because she is just the funniest and a sweetie!
When Ryan and I finally made it to the "South Bridge" on our run for the first time (this was my destination goal)
Running with Kunal in the Bonn Marathon and doing awesome! Furthest I've ever run in my LIFE!
Going out to the vet clinic with Koi and walking that little mini horse around.
Taking the train to Switzerland that followed the Rhine the whole way--so many scenic castles, etc!
and so many more!

Nachdenken, wiederspiegeln, und reflektieren

           It has been almost two months since I returned from Germany and it is beginning to feel like it was all a dream. Assimilating back into the real world, taking a DiffEQ final, seeing family and friends, and starting research at A&M all have just added to the surreal feeling of the study abroad experience. Numerous people have come up at me and said something along the lines of “How was Germany/Study Abroad/being in Europe” and the only thing I can say is that it was ‘amazing’ or ‘awesome’ which I immediately think is an abysmal answer. Words cannot even describe the amazing time I had in Bonn. I try to explain how great it was by telling them about all the places I visited, the food I ate, and some of the other highlights of the trip, but I can’t ever describe the day-to-day life of living in Bonn. Just walking to get some happy hour falafel and Haribo, or just strolling through the streets of Bonn to Marktplatz or the Hauptbahnhof added to the  Traveling to so many different places, making new friends, staying with a host family, and just Germany in general all combined to produce the best time of my life.

The Biosciences Study Abroad was a success in so many different aspects of my life. Through this trip I learned that I could be independent and brave enough to live somewhere other than little ol’ Abilene or College Station. Collaborating with enmodes on the sutureless anastomosis device was priceless experience which I will always remember.  Our group was also amazing, with Krisitin and Dr. Wasser leading the charge and all us students holding it together for an entire 4 months! I remember reading some of the reflection posts from the previous programs and seeing that there was conflict, and I’m so glad that our group (while we did have a few minor isolated incidents) did not have any drama, which just made it that much better. I’ve also learned that for the 19 years of my life before I came to Germany, I was veeeery lazy. In Germany I took the same classes I would have taken at A&M, but also added the fact that I was abroad and traveling almost every weekend, and I still did fine in all my classes. This fact makes me question all the hours I wasted in the past years, and how I could’ve utilized some of them to their full extent (not really, but my time management skills matured greatly in Germany).

One of the things I miss the most about Germany is exploring and seeing new things almost every day. Visiting new countries and going on excursions or just walking around Bonn and seeing a new statue or building was probably the best part of my experience and places like College Station and Abilene just don’t even compare. Along with that, in the course of my trips, I visited so many cathedrals, monuments and historical sights where history ACTUALLY happened. Usually when I hear narratives about the Holocaust or some king or emperor, the stories are so compelling that they do not even seem real. But it was a very humbling experience when I went to the Sachsenhausen concentration camp or Stazi Prison, and the reality actually hit me. Another thing I will really miss: the trams/public transportation. Every morning I could count on the trams to take me wherever I needed to go in a timely fashion, and in situations like Karneval I could expect a nice message regarding stoppages. Also traveling by train is one of the most relaxing things in the world. There were a few things that I missed while in Germany, including free water and Tex-Mex food, but for the most part it was the best place ever.

I remember at the orientation meetings in the fall that Dr. Wasser would talk about the different phases you would go through while trying to accommodate to a new country; one of the main stages that stood out to me was the honeymoon phase, in which you arrive in the new country and everything is good, like a honeymoon. The weather and people are nice, the sky is blue, the birds are chirping etc. This stage is usually followed by a frustration/anger phase; however in my case I never got past the honeymoon stage. The Study part was manageable, the people were awesome, and the trips were unforgettable. I enjoyed every single moment of being abroad and cannot wait until I have the opportunity to return. For the final time, Tchüss!

Relection

It's been almost a month since the end of the study abroad trip. I still miss the "home" in Germany. I have made a lot of new friends, but most importantly I have prove to myself that I can be independent. Although I was aware the world is much larger than College Station and Dallas, I tend to stay in the the bubble world. Through the trip to Germany, I learn the global connectivity  and interdependence. We made a big impact by contributing to the enmodes project and hopefully helped people along the way.  As a person, I see more of a reason to communicate with strangers. this trip showed me how independent I can be, but it also showed me that my independence comes at the mercy of strangers. Getting lost in a city is not the best experience, but the kindness of strangers help me navigate a new city. If I was give another chance at this I would take it without a second thought. This trip made me less close minded, less afraid, and less doubtful. It had been a great semester, I can't wait to go back again.

Berlin and Prague

So my previous blog that I was writing got deleted and I'm kind of devastated because there was almost two months of thoughts in it. So this one is probably going to be a shorter version of that original one.

BERLIN/DRESDEN
I really liked Berlin. I had been hearing stories about Berlin from my parents since I was born, so the fact that I was finally going was really exciting for me. While I think I would have a much different perspective about the city if I had gone by myself or just with some friends I still really liked it. I also go to bike for the first time since I was in middle school. It was less fun when I ran into a car but whatever.

I also really liked Dresden. It was weird because when I told my parents that I was going to Dresden, they told me that it had been completely flattened during WWII. When they told me that I imagined a torn down city that was mostly rubble and dirt. I was so wrong. It was a complete city with beautiful buildings and architecture. It had so much history that I was not expecting from this city I had never heard about. It was really a cool trip.

The concentration camp was an experience that I can't explain. I had never been to a concentration camp and I never really thought I would ever be to one. And it was a great experience.

The thing I am most disappointed about is that I don't feel like I got to know the city. The bike tour was fun and we definitely saw a lot but I spent so much time focusing on not dying, I wasn't looking at what was around me. It was a great week though! I learned a lot about Berlin and about medicine which was also really cool. The museums we went to were awesome and I wish I could go back and spend more time in them.

It was a cool city that I really hope to go back to and see more of with more time.

PRAGUE
After Berlin was Prague which was probably one of my favorite cities I visited. It was classic and old timey and quaint and adorable! I absolutely fell in love with Prague. I wish I had more than a weekend there to see everything. The food was good the sights were beautiful and the money was weird. So was the art. So much strange art. While in Berlin I felt very rushed, in Prague I just wanted to slow down and see everything. Just stroll and look at what Prague is. I could see myself living there just because it was so cute.

I fell in love that weekend with that city and I will be going back. To Prague and to Berlin.

First Week!

The first week is over, and boy has it been a whirlwind. I have the tram system down...kinda... well at least I can get from my house to AIB. We went on a couple walking tours of Bonn and in our free time went to the Beethoven house. Bonn is such a beautiful city, and I'm excited to spend the semester here! Classes are about to start and I'm a little nervous, balancing grades and travel are going to be a challenge, but Ill have plenty of down time on planes and trains to go over material so ill just have to be more efficient with my time. I guess we will see how that turns out come the first exam week.

Arrival: the Beginning of a Bonn-iful Semester

Today was a really long day. Between the plane trip, airport food, and way to many people coughing on me, I had all my energy drained. However, I arrived in once piece and found my way to the meeting point where the rest of the group was waiting for the bus to Bonn. Once in Bonn we got to see AIB, which is where all of our classes will be, and meet our host parents! My host parents are so sweet! They drove me back to their house in Bornhiem and showed me the tram I would be needing to take to get into the city. Then they sat me down to a very German dinner, sausage and potatoes! Overall today was exhausting, but a wonderful start to a great semester!

Final Days

Yay last official post that I was supposed to post while in Bonn :(

We went to the LMU Theatre performance about radium workers the night of our last final and it was interesting... It was pretty good but not my kind of play. I'm impressed by all of the theatre people though, they're really good at what they do. After that, I walked around Bonn and Hersel and saw the small groups of German guys running around with trees on their backs! I'm so glad we were here to witness that because it's probably one of the funniest things I've ever seen. I saw a girl catch her boyfriend putting up the tree with his friends and she ended up getting serenaded by him while he continued to tie the tree to her house. Germans have interesting traditions.

The next day, we went to Bingen to see the Hildegard museum with the Viz kids. We presented our plants and I completely forgot the entire speech I memorized... Oops again. Then we ate at a really delicious restaurant before we left Bingen to raft down the Rhein. Rafting was so much and also pretty tiring. I'm glad we got the chance to do it though, it was quite the experience! I think we went to a castle after but I'm not exactly sure. Those few days started to blur together... I'm going to assume it was a cool castle, what little I can remember of it. Then I'm pretty sure we went home and I went promptly to bed, because rafting is freaking exhausting.

The next day, we woke up to go bike to Remagen. I was a mess and ended up on the ground every few minutes. You'd think that if you heard "yeah we're going to be biking for two hours to get to the next town," you'd eat a few meals and make sure your contacts wouldn't dry out, but nah. I was feeling especially stupid that day. So that's how I ended up with the weird scab on the back of my leg that hasn't healed after one week... The ride was beautiful though, and it made me so sad while I was biking since I realized that we were leaving. Germany is beautiful. Following the Rhein was amazing; there were trees everywhere, the water and sky were a perfect blue, the weather was perfect. Honestly, it was just the perfect end to the trip. We went to the Peace Museum at the bridge of Remagen once we got there and I can't remember anything since I was dead from the bike ride. I do remember the ice cream that Dr. Wasser bought us though - that was awesome. Awesome ice cream. And then on the way back, I was still so dead that I took the train with half of the group. I really wish I would have been okay enough to bike back, but oh well. Side note: the train ride was fifteen minutes. FIFTEEN?! I'm going to sound extremely lazy but why bike when you can take the train.

Second side note: I thought about it, and I guess the views would be nice. That would make sense.

Finally, we had the farewell party. It was so much fun and the food was the most delicious food we had in Germany. The music was great and our group was standing up there dancing and singing! We were definitely the loudest ones there and the ones who probably got everyone to sing too :)

And that's it... One last trip to bonnsch, the happy hour doner place, and Koln later... We were flying home :( 

"Home"

I know that we're not supposed to write our reflective blog until we've had time to settle and realize how we've changed, but I want to capture some of my immediate reactions to returning to the United States.

I was at first so overwhelmed with happiness because of how friendly and helpful Americans are. Hearing so much English in the airport was irrationally exciting. I had pretty awful time getting home due to one canceled flight and one extremely delayed flight, but despite my misery trying to sleep on extremely uncomfortable airport chairs, I was reminded at my competence in traveling. I learned a lot about the best ways to travel this last semester, so this last set of difficulties during my return journey was kind of like the ultimate challenge that I passed!

Seeing my dad at the Austin airport made me so happy it almost hurt. Sleeping in my bed from high school was sooo nice. When I pet my cat for the first time in 5 months, I felt like he was a hallucination because he was so wonderfully soft and beautiful and perfect.

Now that I've been home for a few days and I feel a bit settled, I already feel like the trip to Germany wasn't real. The wonderfulness of the whole semester is just incongruous with the daily reality of my life in Texas and my brain is having trouble transitioning. I feel as though I matured greatly last semester and the people I'm interacting with now haven't realized it yet. I don't want my life to return to exactly how it was before studying abroad. I'm finding that I'm going to need to make a conscious effort though to avoid sinking back into the comfortable habits of my previous life. I enjoyed the independence I had in Europe so much and I foresee a minor struggle to maintain this sense of singularity that I cultivated in Germany.

Despite this transition, I am so grateful for my family. I have a new appreciation for how nice and clean my house is, the joy of driving a car, eating good 'ol Southern cooking by my grandma, and the warm and loving environment that pervades every space I co-inhabit with my family.

Some weird place called Abilene

My latest excursion has been one of the strangest, and more interesting trips I have taken. This ‘state’ I’m in is larger than pretty much all of the countries in Europe, which is kind of confusing. The weather here is very nice: sunny, and blue skies every day. The people are all rather plump compared to Germany and many of the other places I have visited, and while they do speak English it is an odd sounding dialect, with a smattering of  some odd words such as y’all and ain’t and fixin’. I went to a restaurant the other day, and while the ‘Tex-mex’ food was very good, the portions were kind of large and the other people there were a lot louder than the Germans I am used to. It seems that everyone drives their cars over here, because everything is so spaced out and there seems to be no tram system in place, which is rather inconvenient. I am also disappointed to see a landscape devoid of bakeries and Döner places. I don’t know how long it will be until I return to Germany, seeing as how I haven’t booked a return ticket, but I hope to return someday. 

Goodbye Blog Mit Käse

Sitting here in my apartment on the night before going back home has got me thinking. Thinking about all the fun I've had this semester, all the friends I've made and thinking about all the things I'll miss about Bonn and being abroad in general. My blogs are lagging a little bit so I am going to catch that up before continuing. 

After Aachen, we had some classes and then finals, which went alright. We also attended a play put on by the LMU theater students which was interesting, but I’m not a play fan so it was eh. The next day, bright and early in the morning we had our Rhein Cruise (which was actually a rafting trip) with the Viz kids from A&M. Before we started rafting however, we went to the Hildegard von Bingen museum and learned about the woman who had visions from God and used plants to cure diseases. Us Biosciences people also had to research a plant and what it was used for and what Hildegard used it for and gave a small presentation in the Hildegarten (haha) next to the museum. After a lunch that was so heavy it could sink a raft, we began our water journey. 

This leads to the buoy incident—which isn't supposed to be spoken of, but I have to let my avid readers know the truth. The raft I was on had Dr. Wasser at the helm, and Kristin manning the demanding position of DJ and ‘designated selfie taker’. Our boat struggled to properly propel itself, due to a combination of inept rowers and helmsman. However, after a while we got the hang of it, and just as we were getting into a groove, a buoy appeared on the horizon. We were directly on course for the aforementioned buoy and understandably wanted to avoid crashing into it. We (the rowers) desperately (and uselessly) tried to turn the vessel, Dr. Wasser tried to steer us away and told the left rowers to row harder—even though he meant the right rowers—and Kristin sat in the middle just yelling until the inevitable impact. After all of our lives flashed before us, and a dull 'thunk', it was all over and we had all survived. The rest of the rafting was uneventful other than the inefficient snakelike movement of our vessel, which exhausted our group unlike the other groups, who wisely used the current to help them. 

The next day of ‘Kristin’s Fat Camp^TM’ involved a bike ride to a city (Remagen) that was about 20 km away. The bike ride was very fun, and once we got to the picturesque city we had a tour of the Peace Museum. We then returned to Bonn and went to the old AIB for the Farewell Party, which was very fun. All of the students from the various programs, and most of the host families attended, and this is when it started to hit me that we were actually going home. Each program gave a small speech about their experiences in Bonn, and seeing everyone laughing and having such a good time made me really happy, and really sad at the same time, because I knew this was the last time we were all going to be together. That night was also Rhein in Flammen, which is a fireworks show. After staying at the old AIB for a while, we ended up walking about an huor to the place where the Rehien in Flammen party was and just sat on the grass and enjoyed the firewokrs. It seemed like the city of Bonn was giving us a goodbye party as well which made it an amazing experience.

Now that I'm all caught up, I can continue my deep thoughts regarding leaving Germany. This semester has been the best time of my life, and I have mixed feelings about leaving. On one side, I am very excited to see my family and friends, not having to pay for water, and just being home, but on the other, Bonn had started to feel like a home to me and I am going to miss so many things about it. I'm going to miss my host family and Kristin and Dr. Wasser and the AIB and tram 61. I’m going to miss actually I’m not going to miss the expert agility and skill required to use the shelf toilet. I'm going to miss saying tchüss and entshuldigung. I’m going to miss the closeness of all the other countries to Germany, because in the US you can’t just hop on a train and get to a different country in a few hours (sometimes you can’t even get to a different state). I’m going to miss eating copious amounts of croissants from the ubiquitous bakeries, eating mayo on fries and not getting weird looks, happy hour falafel, and Haribo. Most of all I’m going to just miss walking around Bonn with my friends, just getting lunch or going to the Altstadt, because over the past 4 months Bonn became my home. 

cant think of title

The weekend after Easter break, I went to visit my cousin who lives in Stuttgart. Overall, Stuttgart was a very plain, dull city, but the Mercedes and Porsche museums are both located there were very interesting. Along with the two museums, we toured the beautiful Ludwigsburg Schloss, which was a palace that survived the war and contains many different types of architecture, including Baroque. Rococo, and Empire, however the tour we took was in German so I did not understand too much. Overall, it was nice just to visit with my cousin and relax rather than going crazy trying to see all the sights in a new city. 

Then, after a week of tests and classes, came the AIB charity weekend. The AIB hosted an international Big Event, similar to the one in College Station, and for that we broke up into small groups and went around Bonn, helping people clean or fix up their place. My group went to the NaturFreund children’s park, and pulled weeds, mowed the grass and fixed some benches. However, after we worked for a little bit, we just started to play with the things in the park like chickens, rabbits, and a zip line. The next day was the one I had been looking forward to but also dreading, because it was my birthday, but also the day of the Bonn Marathon. Earlier in the semester I had naïvely put my name down to run in the marathon, because it seemed so far away and I thought that I would have a lot of time to train. However, I am not a fan of running at all and just kept saying, “Oh I’ll start training this weekend,” and ended up at the marathon weekend and had only run once. I still participated in the race and surprisingly got through the 9k that I had to run, and actually had a lot of fun. 

It was back to business after one of my favorite weekends in Bonn, because we were heading to Aachen to present our sutureless anastomosis devices to enmodes. The presentations went very well, and afterwards we got a tour of the labs at the Helmholtz Institute, which was very cool. Then we were free to roam around the city of Aachen and toured a reliquary, the Aachener Dom and then headed home.

The Last Few Weeks

So I've been home for a day now and it's weird. I keep expecting to wake up and take the tram to the Hauptbanhof and walk through Friedensplatz... Nostalgia is real.

The last time I posted was a few days before the AIB Charity Weekend, which was so much fun! My group went to this interesting daycare where there was chickens, bunnies, ziplines, swings, and button making thangs. We had to split up into little groups because they needed us to fix a couple of things, make the pond look pretty, and clean up all of the weeds outside. Koi and I fixed a bench, which ended up taking so much longer than it should have, but ended up being so much fun. It was such a fun day of doing stupid things and acting like kids! Plus we got chocolate cake and chocolate cake makes everything five times better :) The marathon was the next day and I went to go cheer on the people who were running in it near the end. I didn't really do anything so all I can talk about was the giant party-like atmosphere at the finish line and the free food I had at the AIB (both of which rocked so yasss).

Next week was Aachen (AaAaAaAaAachen). The city is so pretty and they're apparently known for their printen, which is really just fancy gingerbread. I love gingerbread so I'm not complaining, especially cause it was pretty good. We presented to Enmodes in the morning, which was really nerve-wracking, but it's crazy that the project was finally over. It felt like we'd worked on it forever...

 Then... FINALS. I actually barely remember those few days except that I was in classroom 3 for the majority of them. Oops. I did as well as I could on all of my classes, so that was a good end to the semester. My host family thought I'd disappeared for a bit there in those last few weeks since I stayed out either studying or going out and enjoying Bonn before we left. I can't believe we actually left...

I'll save the Rheincruise (lies... it was rafting)/Bingen, the bike ride to Remagen and the rest of the past few days for another post. I'm really missing Germany and I hope home starts to feel like home again soon.

Retrospect

Something I recently realized was how powerful indulging in nostalgia is. I generally avoid sappiness and nostalgia because it makes me sad and I don't enjoy feeling sad most of the time. But I'm realizing that as we say goodbye and let ourselves indulge in this feeling of sweet sadness that stems from reminiscing on the fond memories we made, we are culling our memories and reinforcing the positive ones. 

I will remember most what I tell people when they ask "How was Germany?". So I am going to consciously make an effort to let myself indulge a bit in sticky nostalgia because I want to remember the adorable kids that I lived with, my incredibly strong and resilient host Oma, the wonderful food and drink I imbibed, and the fantastic friends I made this semester. 

My host Oma is seriously a badass who has experienced unfathomable difficulty in her life such as multiple sclerosis that has left her in a wheel chair for the last 20 years, losing her first pregnancy at 9 months gestation when she was 21 years old, and eventually raising her son by herself after divorcing the father. I think Uli is the strongest woman I've ever gotten to spend time with and I know that I immeasurably lucky to have had the opportunity to live with her. Her grandkids also happen to be the most adorable and loving children imaginable and I don't know how they grew to love me so much, but my host sister hugged mw so tight while saying Gute Nacht tonight that I know I am blessed. 

I am so thankful for getting to know the other students on this trip and I am continually realizing what awesome people chose to go to Germany this semester. I seriously love everyone in a different capacity and in my whole life, I don't know if I've ever felt this comfortable with a group of people in such a short period of time. 

I am so sad to be leaving but trying to focus on the positive, such as the amount of queso I'll be eating soon!! 

Nostalgia..

Well, I knew the day would come but I didn't realize it would come so soon. Here I am listening to some sappy nostalgic songs (Amie by Damien Rice if you want to feel the sadness like I am right now). Ok now that you're listening to a great song for these kind of feels, here I go.

As my time in Germany comes to an end, I mostly want to be sure that I don't forget the things that I learned here. Being abroad taught me some valuable lessons, both academically and personally. It's true when people say that study abroad changes you!

One of the first things that I learned coming here is that no stereotype is 100% true. I was worried about Germans being very unhealthy. What I found instead was that my host family cooked EXTREMELY healthily and were in much, much better shape than me. I think being around them helped me learn how to take care of myself better physically. I tend to get worked up and stressed about school and not take the time to exercise and maintain my well-being. My host parents really focused on maintaining a balance between work and fun; they worked very hard during the week but went running in the forest every Saturday and other such activities. I am going home much more health-conscious, and hopefully will be eating clean and exercising more (after my chick-fil-a and macaroni and cheese binge of course).

Also, the stereotype about German people being "too direct" and kind of mean isn't true either. Yes, my host family was very direct. But I loved it! It's actually kind of silly that us Americans circumvent the heart of an issue instead of speaking our minds sometimes. I think being more direct has helped me be more assured of my worldview and opinions on things instead of taking an on-the-fence stance on important issues. My host family and I often had intense discussions about politics, theater, art, culture, food, or anything else. I like the German attitude toward art and theater as a teaching and awareness tool. We were talking about how a lot of the German theater mentality is to provoke a discussion (aka controversial). I think that's very interesting, but also typical of the German culture. I don't think there's anything mean about getting to the heart of an issue and trying to resolve it--I think it's very admirable! So that's what I learned about the German stereotype.

Ok, the stereotype about drinking beer is totally correct though. I'm going to miss causally ordering a beer with lunch. Or two. Fortunately all that healthy eating kept me from gaining too much weight!

About myself, this trip has taught me that it's ok to take risks because they often lead to something better than you could ever imagine. I was nervous to go on this trip because it was asking a lot of my parents (financially and worry-wise I think) and it wasn't the most economical way to accomplish the classes I needed to graduate. I went into the semester thinking I would hopefully just pull up my GPA, see a few cool buildings, then come home back to "reality". I was going to look into applying for nursing school this summer because I was worried about not being competitive enough to essentially do anything else in healthcare. However, this trip provided me with an opportunity to revisit my career plans and not sell myself short by picking nursing, which I was doing just because it was the program I felt that I was most likely to get into. I was able to interact with people--both Dr. Wasser and enmodes--who saw my potential beyond just a GPA and resume, and they have given me the extra boost that I need to start thinking outside of just nursing as a career. I'm coming back to Germany hopefully this summer to intern with enmodes, and maybe research is now in the picture for a career. I'm so glad that I took the risk to come on this trip, and took another risk to intern with enmodes. I think this will be an amazing learning experience that I never EVER could have had if I had not come to Germany.

~~

Today was a really fantastic way to end the trip.

I started the day with a pensive cup of coffee looking out the open window to the verdant garden. There are huge trees towering over budding bushes and vibrant flowers, and the clouds rushed overhead merrily. I walked my usual route from my house to the Zentrum a little slower than usual, drinking in the beautiful springtime and the Rhine. When I got to the Zentrum, I met up with Hazel and we finally toured the Beethovenhaus, which was really incredible. I love how seeing the actual places that famous composers, artists, scientists, and historical figures were--it really makes history come alive!

Then, we went to the AIB for our final "classtime". We shared memories from the trip. A random tag-a-long person on our very first trip together (Frankfurt to Bonn). Running into a buoy with our raft because we didn't know how to steer. Our kick-ass dance at the beginning of the semester. The Dr. Schnabel tour in Vienna. And my own memories were rushing through my head: accidentally riding to the trainyard on one of the first days. Runs along the Rhine. Talking nonstop about cute dogs we saw (mostly with Ryan, Hazel, or Koi). Randomly getting currywurst or Dean&Davids for lunch. Our BIMS dance party during finals. There were so many amazing moments within the program, but what truly made this semester great was being with friends. I'm equally grateful for the small moments as the big ones.

After saying our official goodbyes (even though I'll see a lot of people on the bus tomorrow), Ryan, Koi, Garrett, Mitchell and me decided to do a "Bonn in Retrospect" tour. We went to the Bonnch Restaurant and grabbed a Bonnch outside, basking in the sunshine and enjoying good conversation. Then, we went to Tuscalo for one last Beethoven pizza, which is probably the best pizza I've ever eaten. Spinach, cheese, roast beef, chicken, and truffle oil. Thin crust, hand tossed. And bananan weitzen, which is banana beer. It's amazing. Then I went shopping for a few souvenirs, walked home again, and now I'm sitting here listening to sad music and admiring the fact that I actually fit everything into my luggage...

Tomorrow, Ryan and I will spend the day in Frankfurt, then we will fly out on Wednesday. Hopefully between now and when I get home I will have some blog posts to fill in the past few weeks. I would recommend never falling behind on blogging ever because it's so much to talk about and my fingers get tired. But it's totally worth it. I'm glad I have something to look back on about my trip.

I can't believe I'm packing...

It seems like we just got here yesterday...

If you had told me in January I would be sad about leaving in May I would have thought you were crazy because I was sure it was going to be a long four months away from my family. I do miss them a lot and I am so glad to get to go home and see them but Bonn has become another home to me in the time I have been here. I spent most of last night sorting through things and beginning the packing process. I'm taking home a lot of good memories and hope that someday soon in the future I will be bringing my family here to make some more. There have been a lot of tears today, and I'm sure there will be a lot more tomorrow.

Now the anxiety of going home has started to creep in. I know this four months has changed me in some ways I've already realized and others I'm sure I'll come to recognize soon enough but how are the changes in me going to affect my family. My brother will be on the ground in North Carolina sometime around 11pm my time here in Germany tonight after a nine month deployment. I wonder if he is having some of the same emotions. I'm also anxious about what is to come in the next few months. My father will be having his prostate removed in dealing with his cancer on June 23rd and then my husband will also be needing surgery to fix some vertebrae issues in his neck after I return.

So for now it's back to packing... I'm sure things will be crazy for a bit when I get home. I just never thought it would be so bittersweet.

Aachen

Sun! I finally got to enjoy the sun. After we presented our device design project, we wandered around the city for food and the sun. Two of my friends were offered internship positions at enmodes. I got to just sit on the green grass and bask in the sun. Later, we toured the dom of Aachen and learned about its significance.

BIG EVENT

This is the second year I participated in big event. It was a great experience. We help with a farm style nature reserve for kids. We weeded and fixed benches for the people. We received Big event t-shirts and a hearty lunch for our service. Some of my friends entered into the Bonn marathon and ran a relay.

Dead week

This week was so crammed together, we spent time catching up with the homework and the biochemistry assignments. We getting closer to the project presentation, can't wait.

Paris Easter break

I went to Paris for the Easter break. It was rainy but it was fun. We spend all day in the Louvre museum. We saw the Mona Lisa, a lot of statues, and paintings. My group seen the Eiffel tower every day. The second day, we went to Versailles and saw room of mirrors where they signed treaty of Versailles. The last day we spent our time at the tower of triumph.

Spring Break Part 2: Barcelona

 After a lovely few days in Coppet, me and Amy flew to Barcelona and met up with some of the other people. I went to Barcelona on a vacation when I was 16 and all the things we planned to do, I had already done. That was okay though, because it's such a pretty city and when I was 16 I was almost 100% unaware to all thoughts other than "Is that edible? Can I eat that? When is the next time I will play a video game?". I remember when I had gone before I had zero understanding of how to get anywhere and just followed my family around. However, this time, everything made so much sense and I had no trouble knowing sort of where I was at all times. We saw the Picasso museum, which was actually MORE interesting to me this time around. It was cool to compare my thoughts between now and when I had seen it a few years ago. I experienced the same thing at the Sagrada Familia. Obviously, it's a very impressive place and it's sort of the main thing to see in Barcelona. I was expecting to walk in and be like "Oh yeah this old thing, I've already seen it". That was not the case at all. I was still just as impressed, maybe even more impressed, as I was back then. I don't know why. I think it's because I have a better understanding of the world now (but not enlightened in any sense of the word) and I think that allowed me to see it in a different light. Literally, because the sun was angled in such a way that the light was coming in completely colored and that wasn't the case last time. It was very cool. Another day, we went to the Gaudi park, which I hadn't seen before. I enjoyed that a lot. It had some really cool architecture and some really great views of the city. It was a funny day because it rained all morning, stopped when we left the apartment, started again while we ate, stopped when we were in the park, then started as we were trying to get home. Overall, it was a nice trip. The weather was at least a little bit warmer than it had been everywhere else, I understood what was going on, and I enjoyed just about everything that happened.

Spring Break Part 1: Coppet/Geneva

I would like to start off by saying that I love trains. I've said it before and I will say it a million more times. Trains are the greatest. They're quiet, smooth, and they don't prompt me to ponder the possibility of a plane-related demise. For spring break, I originally planned to go skiing in Switzerland and stay in a lodge 50m from the main lift. For someone with no significant income, I have expensive tastes. Luckily, Amy's aunt lives in a little town called Coppet about 20 minutes north of Geneva. So, we decided that if we stayed with her for a few days, it was likely that I would be able to get myself on a mountain at some point or another. We took a train from Bonn and it was probably one of my favorite days of this entire semester. I sat and read a book about the theory of relativity that was very pleasantly written. I even understood some of it. We even got off a stop too early at one point but the guy at the counter printed us new tickets and we were only set back by 20 minutes. The view out of the window was beautiful the whole day, and as we passed out of a tunnel onto a hill overlooking Lake Geneva with the mountains surrounding everything, I felt quite happy (it would take too many words to describe exactly how beautiful it was and how happy I felt so I'll just leave it at that). Amy's aunt (Suzanne) picked us up from the train station and took us home for dinner. Staying there was a weirdly awesome experience. It was weird in the sense that I don't think anybody has ever said the phrase "I stayed at my girlfriend's aunts house over spring break and it was really amazing". Suzanne (and her husband, Hannu, who was sick but still made some appearances) are very interesting to talk to, we ate very healthy food that actually tasted good, and had great conversations throughout every day. She took us cross country skiing which was fun in a painful way, and took us to lunch with one of the CERN engineers and some other very smart people. I got to see Geneva, which was beautiful (and expensive). The only thing that I didn't do was go downhill skiing, because the day we would've gone, the buses weren't running up the mountain (but we didn't know until we got halfway there). After we finally returned from that hilariously disappointing venture, we just spent our afternoon walking around Coppet. It was exactly like what you would imagine a tiny Swiss lakeside town to be. I drank some really great tea and spent more money than I should have in a chocolate shop. Overall, even though I spent my spring break doing absolutely nothing that I originally intended, I think I had a better time than if my original plans worked out. And that's saying a lot, because I love skiing even more than I love trains.

Please Mind The Gap

My weekend in London was extremely enjoyable. I checked a few things off of my bucket list, including seeing all of the tourist highlights like Buckingham Palace, Big Ben, Westminster Abbey, and Kensington Gardens, among others. I also walked through Portobello Market and ate lunch at Borough Market. I took my Beatles picture on Abbey Road and wrote my name on the wall of Abbey Road Studios. One of my personal highlights was going to see the flat where they film BBC’s Sherlock. Another big one for me was Shakespeare’s Globe Theater, which is now a replica of the one that burned down, but it was built as close to the original as possible, including the lack of screws or other hardware.

I think London was one of my top most enjoyable cities I’ve been to on this trip. The people were all extremely friendly and helpful. The Underground was the most lively public transport system I’ve experienced thus far in Europe. Everyone was talking with their friends, and enjoying themselves. This was quite a contrast to the quiet and reserved atmosphere I’ve experienced on most public transportation. London seemed full of life and full of history. It also was most like to America in national pride. Most of the European countries I’ve been to don’t display a lot of national pride, but England does. They are proud of their Queen and Country! And you will recognize it.

“When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life; for there is in London all that life can afford.” – Dr. Samuel Johnson

International Big Event

It was very bittersweet seeing the video of Big Event back at A&M on Saturday. It really made me miss home. I was glad though that we got to participate in Big Event over 5,000 miles away.

I was in a group with two Viz kids and an LMU science guy. We worked at a community garden on the outskirts of Bonn. I mowed and "weed eated" the lawn all day. Anthony, a guy from Viz, helped transport and unload wood. The two others helped rake up the area and paint tar on some of the wood to protect it from weathering. It was a really cool concept. The garden is run and kept up by the community. Anyone can use it and plant what they would like. Many people plant vegetables in order to use them in their cooking.

We then visited the cooperative housing, Villa Emma, right next door. This was also a neat concept in which everyone owned the whole house and had a "share" in it. Everyone has their own flat but share common spaces. There is a wood shop and an art studio in the basement for use by the residents. It was a very progressive way of living but really cool nonetheless.

International Big Event

It was very bittersweet seeing the video of Big Event back at A&M on Saturday. It really made me miss home. I was glad though that we got to participate in Big Event over 5,000 miles away.

I was in a group with two Viz kids and an LMU science guy. We worked at a community garden on the outskirts of Bonn. I mowed and "weed eated" the lawn all day. Anthony, a guy from Viz, helped transport and unload wood. The two others helped rake up the area and paint tar on some of the wood to protect it from weathering. It was a really cool concept. The garden is run and kept up by the community. Anyone can use it and plant what they would like. Many people plant vegetables in order to use them in their cooking.

We then visited the cooperative housing, Villa Emma, right next door. This was also a neat concept in which everyone owned the whole house and had a "share" in it. Everyone has their own flat but share common spaces. There is a wood shop and an art studio in the basement for use by the residents. It was a very progressive way of living but really cool nonetheless.

Barcelona Inspires

It was amazing to be in the presence of Gaudi’s magnificent work, and witness how his work still influences the city of Barcelona after life. Although I was familiar with his work, the pictures on textbooks do not do him justice! Entering the beautiful cathedral of La Sagrada Familia was such a life changing experience. You could feel the presence and power of faith. His usage of mosaics and vibrant colors created a joyful atmosphere. The abundance of colors was compensated with the cool
toned stone that surrounded the entire structure.

Gaudi did a great job incorporating old architectural techniques with his artistic flare. Gaudi has a distinct architectural design style.  When in the presence of his work you immediately know it is his. While exploring the city of Barcelona I had the chance to see more of his work such as Parc Guell, Casa Batllo, and La Pedrera.

Another artist whose influence still resonates until this day is the work of Pablo Picasso. The museum dedicated to his craft was well organized and took you through the journey of his artistic evolution. You began the tour with his early work, which was greatly influenced by his academic studies. As you move on and travel through his life timeline you begin to understand his perspective on art. He was greatly influenced by other artists who broke boundaries and created his unique style of cubism. To many people it seems like an abstract way of putting different shapes together to make an image. Those who have studied his work know and understand that his method is meant to view one image from multiple angles. To understand how his method works, imagine taking a picture and tearing it into pieces and then putting those pieces back together in a random order. That may not be exactly how his method works but it allows you to view the same image from various angles/perspectives.

I probably could go on and on about art and my experience in Spain, but this is a blog and not a novel.  Aside from the art and beautiful scenery I was so happy to be able to speak Spanish to the locals (I tried to speak Spanish as much as possible!). I loved the delicious food and most of all I enjoyed experiencing it all with a great group of friends!