It's been almost seven months since I stepped off the plane, jetlagged and confused, into the Frankfurt airport. Seven months since I met many of my dear friends for the first time. Seven months since I started believing that I could actually make my dreams come true and that it was worth it to believe in myself.
I don't want to romanticize Germany too much, but it was seriously a life-changing experience for me-- it helped me develop maturity, confidence, and determination that I'm not sure I could have achieved in College Station. Let me tell you about how all this happened.
From the first time that I heard about the Bioscience semester abroad (in Dr. Scanlan's veeerry easy microbiology class, it's a miracle I was even in lecture that day!), I felt a bittersweet longing to do the program. I say "bittersweet" because although it sounded like a blast, I was convinced that I would not be able to go. Human shortcomings these days are often the product of an over-rational mind, and in this case mine was telling me "why do you deserve to go on a trip like this? Your GPA isn't super great, you need more clinical hours to be a competitive professional school applicant, you're giving up your organization position, and then there's like the big things: $20-something THOUSAND dollars and YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE!!!!" So, almost as a joke, I applied to the program. Most of me was just doing it because Ryan, my boyfriend, had applied and I wanted to show him that I could get in the program, too. But I also think there was a little bit of me--a dreamer part of me---that was saying "but it would be REALLY cool if you DID go!"
Once I got accepted into the program, I asked my parents about it and their initial reaction was "No," for the same reasons that I mentioned above. However, as the semester dragged on and Ryan went to his orientation meetings and talked about the people that were going on the trip, the idea became lodged in my mind. I began to actually WANT to go! Fortunately, Dr. Wasser took some significant time to email with me and skype with me about the implications of going on a trip and was able to convince me that the risk was worth the benefit. I prepared a powerpoint presentation to my parents (yeah don't judge me) to convince them that this trip was worth the finances and time away from home. After some debate, they finally agreed and I finally committed!
When I made up my mind to go to Germany, I decided that it would be my "do things you have wanted to do but were too scared to" trip. I was determined to crush my grades and not be afraid to ask for help (yeah, I went through my first two years of college as a self-determined martyr regarding academics and then wondering why I wasn't as successful as people who sought out help haha--that definitely needed to change). I also wanted to work on my overall health and fitness, as I had been relatively sedentary since I came to college. Since this trip was totally uprooting me from my complacent habits, I figured it would be a good time for some good old-fashioned self-improvement.
When I finally met my host family, I immediately knew that they would be a huge help in my journey to self-discovery and re-motivation. They are brilliant, healthy, and happy people and have learned how to balance success and productivity with relaxation and relationships. During my whole semester, they encouraged me to eat nutritiously (and introduced me to pumpkin soup and homemade vegan pizza!), gave me advice about running and exercise, and (most importantly) finally demanded that I stop studying and go out and have a beer with friends! I don't know if my trip would have been as successful without them taking me in as part of the family and showing me what a healthy, happy lifestyle looks like.
Ryan came over all the time and helped me with my fitness goals and helped me not be lonely. I lived close to the Rhine, so we would run together relatively often (1-2x a week), or just hang out because we could. I can't believe his dedication to me. He would travel 45 minutes one-way on the public transportation just so he could see me outside of school. This trip was really a litmus test to show us as a couple how much we cared about each other. :)
The other people in the group provided a constant source of entertainment (even though sometimes we got on each other's nerves!!). There was a comfortable coexistence that we had by the end of the semester that was a result of constant proximity, general--if not grudging--acceptance, and I honestly think genuine friendship. I'm not going to lie, at first I was like "these people are all CRAZY" but sitting down and talking 1-on-1 showed me that everyone was really cool in their own way. 5 months together ensures that you pretty much know everyone's weird thing by the end of the semester, and since you hang out with them all the time you're pretty much ok with it. I could depend on pretty much anyone to be there for me if I was stressing or needed someone to complain to. I never felt lonely or un-included. While I'm not going to claim that I'm now best friends with everyone in the group, I definitely made some close friends and am happy to say that those friendships are thriving! It's crazy to think that I might not have met these amazing people if I hadn't come on the trip.
The TA's and Dr. Wasser were always around and willing to give extra explanations. I think this extra-thorough teaching made me more interested and helped me remember small details that contributed to my success in the class. Those loooooong physiology review sessions (think: 3 hours or so!) were SO TERRIBLE but they were worth it!!
Because of all these external factors, I began to believe in myself when before the trip I was kind of letting the world run me over. And this new mentality carried over into my life: I ran in the Bonn marathon, I was successful in all my classes, and I wasn't afraid of trying new things!
The "icing on the cake" for this trip came at the end of the semester when we were presenting our device design projects to enmodes. Dr. Kauffman and his colleagues pulled me and Garrett aside at the end of the presentations and offered us positions to come back and intern with the company. We are planning on going next summer! So even though the journey has ended for now...it's only the first installation of what could turn into a saga.
Conclusion: I still don't know what I want to do with my life. Sigh. But I know now that I have options, and I have the determination to achieve them. I have new, amazing friends, a fantastic boyfriend, and a good life. I have a trip back to Germany planned already! How can I not be thankful for all of the wonderful things that happened through this trip? I'm so glad that I was able to go.
Favorite Memories:
Dance party with Cameron and Ana when we were studying for our final!
Prague beer-tasting where Ryan and I met a random British marathon runner and then he took us out to dinner because beer/nice people are nice. Also the Kozel beer, which was like a caramel frappachino beer basically.
Rooming with my buds Hazel and Jane in Vienna and staying up late talking about life.
Conversations with Koi because she is just the funniest and a sweetie!
When Ryan and I finally made it to the "South Bridge" on our run for the first time (this was my destination goal)
Running with Kunal in the Bonn Marathon and doing awesome! Furthest I've ever run in my LIFE!
Going out to the vet clinic with Koi and walking that little mini horse around.
Taking the train to Switzerland that followed the Rhine the whole way--so many scenic castles, etc!
and so many more!
No comments:
Post a Comment