Alright. Last blog for a while. Maybe. We’ll see. Let’s go day by day.
On Monday, we rode bikes with the program in Remagen. And by “in Remagen” I mean that we biked TO Remagen. This was definitely one of my favorite excursions. I’ve missed my bike this whole semester and being able to finally use a bike was really fun. We had some tours in Remagen which were interesting. Afterwards, we had Italian food for lunch, with Gelato for dessert. Thankfully I brought my German brand Lactaid. We had the opportunity to then bike back home, which I really wanted to do. But as soon as I got on the bike, I realized how sore I was and decided against it. It was one of the better excursions we’ve had for sure.
Tuesday, we began our final(s) struggle. After days of studying, we took our second and last non-final physiology exam. When I took the exam, I felt kind of shaky afterwards. I wasn’t certain I got everything right and was slightly worried. There was one question where I knew what answer was the correct one based on just… what it looked like the question was supposed to ask. However, I bubbled the answer that was TECHNICALLY the correct answer. I was counted wrong. Should I have done that on such an important test? No. Am I fine with the fact that I did? For sure. Ok well, kind of. I ended up with an 89 and, had I not gone with the technically correct answer, would have been the only person in BMEN to make an A on either Physiology exam. Nevertheless, I got the class high on the exam, closing out the non-final-exams with a 50% on ownership of the class highs. Not that anyone is counting…
Anyway, after the exam, we had our final review for 211 (where I realized that I, in fact, did not know how to do mesh analysis properly. I think I still don’t. Oh well.) and received the final. At first glance (aka looking at the first question), it seemed pretty easy. But oh man, first impressions are not always right.
Wednesday, we had the chance to review our two physiology exams in the morning, as our final would be largely composed of old test questions, allowing us the chance to get as high a score as possible. Apparently the average on the final is typically around 95%, part of why I didn’t worry too much about the second test and went with the technically correct answer. Anyway, after that was over, we had some time before the math final. We spent that time either working on the 211 final (mostly the people not in diff EQ) or studying for the upcoming exam. At this point, I still don’t know what I got but I hope it was enough to get an A. That was definitely one of the more difficult tests I’ve taken this semester. Especially since it included a problem that I had considered to be too hard to possibly be in the test. What matters is that I managed to finish the test with answers and hopefully enough are correct to get me an A.
Thursday morning, Reagan let us look over the past physiology exams one more time before the final. Before the exam, Ryan B. jokingly said something like “if you don’t finish the final in 10 minutes, you fail.” 6 seconds a question? Seems a little harsh. But a challenge is a challenge, intentioned or not. We got the final and, somehow, I managed to finish it within 9-10 minutes (and even then, I was the third person to finish, after Joshua K. and Sebastian). A lot of it was questions we had already seen before so I recognized the answer pretty quickly. And the new questions weren’t too hard. I did, however, check over my test a couple times to make sure everything was answered as best as I could. So that brought the time up to 12-14 minutes. No one cares and I probably sound like I’m bragging but... too bad. I guess pride is my sin of choice. I ended up getting a 99 on the final, plenty to get the A I need in physiology. So, one more grade is in the bag.
Friday, Mats held exit interviews and gave us back the goals we wrote in the beginning of the semester. We also wrote our Pica evaluations. For lunch, Dr. Wasser bought us Uniburger but due to how long it was between the making of the burger and us getting the burger, the burger got soggy and the fries weren’t hot. It was still delicious, as always. For dinner, I got Hot Pot finally, after asking people to go all semester. It was expensive but it was all you can eat and was just delicious. Totally worth the cost.
Saturday was interesting. If I had written this part of the blog when I was planning to yesterday (it’s Sunday today), I’d probably be a bit more sour. Looking over the notes I wrote yesterday, I was upset over a few different things. Now I feel of a clearer mind and more . Anyway, here’s the rundown. The day started with getting to Hofgarten by 6:50 am. As we’d been told in class multiple times, we were leaving at 7 am and we should try to be there 10 minutes early. However, I had to get there around 6:30 to get to the Hofgarten by 6:50. So I got there early and waited at the AIB. I found out when I got WiFi that the email said to be here by 7:15, despite the constant reminding to be at the Hofgarten 10 minutes early at 6:50.
Anyway, on the cruise we had our final and were categorized into Harry Potter houses. According to their algorithm, whatever it is, I am a hufflepuff. Funnily enough, Gryffindor was winning the game for most of the time. We had caught up at one point but then we fell behind and Ravenclaw was tied with Gryffindor by the end, pulling out a victory in the tie breaker. Aside from the fact that we were very, very cold on the deck of this boat, it was an interesting experience.
After the Rhine Cruise, I went home and had dinner before going back into Bonn to see the fireworks over the Rhine (Rhein Im Flammen). A good portion of the program came and we watched the fireworks, thinking of it as a celebration of the work we’ve done and a successful and memorable semester. We were definitely some of the loudest people in the crowds (a woman in front of us turned around, looked at our group, and loudly told her friends “those people are drunk.”). I’m usually not a big fan of fireworks but I think that was one of my favorite displays, if only because of the attached feelings.
Sunday, the final day. It was… interesting. I’ll start with the play. I considered not going because, at this point, I had yet to begin packing and my room... was an absolute mess. Like, real bad. I had everything everywhere. And today was supposed to be our packing day. So, I started the morning with working on this blog and having breakfast with my host family. I didn’t really end up getting much work done but when I figured that this play would be one of the last times I’d have a chance to see people on the program before we left for America, I hopped on a tram and headed into Bonn.
First thing I noticed as I walked into the new AIB: there’s like 6 people from our program here. Uh oh. By the time we were leaving the new AIB and got the the opera house where the play was being held, we managed to get our total numbers up to 12 but that was still not the apparently expected full program. We get into this theatre that has… just a ridiculous number of lights set up and wonder what’s in store for us. My host mom had told me the day before (she’d seen the play on Friday night) that I needed to watch the socks of the actors and actresses to figure out who was each character as they frequently switched actors/actresses. She also noted that it was 2.5 hours with no intermission. When I mentioned that to the group, someone joked that it’s basically like Endgame but you’re not allowed to leave to use the restroom. Awesome. I’ll leave out the details but… why was this play mandatory? The acting was good and it was clear they had been working on it intently but the material was controversial at best. It seemed like the play was trying to be extremely sexual just for the shock factor. There was no explanation of the socks and even I got confused at times, despite my host mom mentioning it to me the day before. Some people in the group didn’t realize until after the play was over and were just very confused throughout. I had a grasp of the general overarching plot but definitely felt like either I or the play itself was missing connecting parts of the plot. A few scenes felt really out of place/ nonsensical, with the actions of the actors/actresses not at all matching up with the topics being discussed.
After the play was over, we headed to the old AIB for the farewell party, the main event of the day for me. I’ll skip over the details and give the main points. The food was really good but, since many of the host families took our seats in the main dining hall, a few of us whose host families couldn’t make it sat in the lounge downstairs. The window was open so we could still hear the music (it was the student workers’ band ahhhhhhh) and we had comfortable couches to sit on. At one point, I went up to grab the barbecued food, getting extra to split with others downstairs. As soon as I got downstairs, I moved with a flourish, as I sometimes do, and displayed the food to the people in the room. But apparently I flourished too hard and the room watched in horror as I seemingly walked in the room only to immediately toss the food (that I’d waited in line for at least 15-20 minutes to get) directly off of my plate and on the floor. I watched with the remnants of a shattered smile and dead eyes as the food I was so looking forward to devouring decided it had had enough of friction and wanted only to cause me suffering. The only foods that stuck to the plate were the steaks (which were very good) and half a sausage that had rolled into the curry-ketchup (which thankfully did not go flying). I’ve got to say, one of the most soul-crushing moments I’ve had in the AIB. And I took the first 211 test in that building, so that building knows how to cause me pain.
After that fiasco, we had the requisite “Sidharth, you’re an idiot” discussion (as is per the norm) and relaxed and talked about the semester so far. People from the program slowly came down as they finished with their host families. We took group pictures, Dr. Wasser gave a speech, and read out the final votes for the superlatives we had decided on over the last few days. I wish that it had translated into a poster but it didn’t seem like that was in the cards.
The TAs, professors, and Mats left the room and we were left to ourselves. As people started leaving, we began our goodbyes. Simply put, it sucked. Even knowing that I’d see all of these people again, as most would be on campus next semester, it was painful to admit that this chapter of my life was ending. I have plenty of college (well, 2 years, which isn’t that much, but I’m going to ignore that) left and I’ve got my whole life to live after that. But this semester was a break from the routine. A break from the constant planning for the future. A break from realizing I no longer have plans for the future. A break from the fact that I have left everything I need to work on (summer plans, housing next semester, research, which track to choose) fall by the wayside. A break from pressure to be the best in whatever field I choose, both from family and from myself (what a jerk that guy can be). This semester was simple, just getting by, practically day to day, with the excuse of the work of today preventing thoughts on tomorrow. I could pretend that the only thing that mattered was the 211 homework that was sitting in front of me, trying to figure out what-on-earth BIBO stability or nonlinear differential equations are, trying to remember the functions of the various portions of the GI tract. But that’s not life. Stresses in life aren’t always things you can just get through by thinking harder. Sometimes no matter how hard or quickly you think, the stress doesn’t get better any faster. And that’s something I need to learn. Shutting down in the face of long term stresses is one of the biggest flaws I need to work on. And that fact is itself a long term stress. Funny how that works, isn’t it? Nearly everyone on the program has been homesick on this trip, especially now that we are almost back. And while I understand that feeling, I don’t feel the same. I love my family but if going home means facing the fact that I am woefully unprepared for the future, I’d rather have a 211 and 308 assignment due every day. But, like I said before, that’s not life. That’s not a choice I get. That’s not a choice anyone gets. Time passes and you stay on top of everything or deal with the consequences. And as much as If like to avoid those consequences, they’re only going to get worse the longer I put them off.
Wow, that was more depth than I was planning to go into. Uhh. Basically, the goodbyes were sad, I teared up in front of everybody and some of us got ice cream afterwards and then said goodbye. I was the last person in the program left in the AIB as I had forgotten some stuff there. There’s something poetic about that. Turning in the key to the AIB a few days ago was… a weird feeling. And this was not particularly comfortable either. After standing in the doorway for a few moments, I took a deep breath and took my last step out of the AIB. No more late nights piecing through homeworks. No more inadvertent in-class naps following too many of those previously mentioned late nights. No more walking into the library in the morning and waving hello to the room, followed by a mix of returned hellos, tired awknowledgements, and total ignoring. That’s all over. And that’s ok. There’s always more to come. May as well accept the changes and march on.
Bonn Voyage.
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