Sunday, February 24, 2019

What a horrible week...

So, It was the beginning of test week. The BMEN 211 test absolute kicked my butt, and for decent reason. I had studied a great deal for the test, but I was not prepared for the kinds of questions that were asked. On top of that, my personal severely interfered with my studying and I suffered a great amount in a lack of motivation. The things that were going on with people close to me back in the U.S. took a huge hit to my emotional state of being. Which then took a hit on my studies and overall performance as a student. I found out that my sister had torn her ACL again, which is a huge problem and worries me a lot. She has severe rheumatoid arthritis, and having an injury such as that is detrimental to her health. So I have been really worried about her and about my family having to take care of her. It hurts me to know that I can't help her in any way shape or form. But what am I to do from so far away? The other hit that I endured was that I found out that my girlfriend was seeing another guy behind my back. I had suspected this for the past week. Things between she and I just weren't the same, and I had to pry the information out of her. Truly horrible timing because I had already been feeling badly about myself, and then hearing this I nearly broke down entirely. This wouldn't be the first time I have been cheated on, however this time probably hurt the worst. I thought she and I had something really special but I guess she had other ideas. All of this is happening at such a horrible time and I really don't know how to handle and deal with it all. I can't exactly talk to anyone from AIB about it. Not my professors or TA's. And I don't feel like my peers will offer me the right advice. Mats might be the only person I could talk to, because I really look up to him. But he's on vacation. So now I feel more alone than ever. To top it off, I have more tests next week, so I really don't know how I'm supposed to manage all of this. As I have said before, there's nothing I can do about any of this. So I just have to keep on moving and do my best to block out the pain. Let's see how these tests go.

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