Homesick and conflicted...

So...we have been doing a lot of fun things and getting to see a lot of awesome stuff and as great as that is right now it only all a temporary distraction. The homesickness has set it for me. Saturday my husband, Karry, and I celebrated our 12th anniversary so I spent most of the afternoon after the AIB welcome party on video chat with him. We had our usual night out to dinner without the children before I left but it was hard being away from him. Sunday was even more difficult, maybe because there weren't any of those distractions we have during the week. Feeling down, I went to bed early only to wake up the next morning to six missed calls from my mother. Knowing something wasn't right I called her immediately and it was the scariest phone call of my life. Even though my mother told me several times that everything was okay when she said "Karry had a heart attack", my world crashed. He is okay, he is at home, resting and recovering well but the controlling person in me wants to be there because no one can take care of things better than I can (in my mind). I hate having to ask him or my mother to ask the doctor questions for me. No one in my family thinks to ask the questions I do. Then I have to wait for answers. Patience may be a virtue but it is not one I possess but I am having to learn. I am having to learn to let go and let other people do the things I would normally take over and do and it's very hard for me. The curious person in me, the one who loves new places and loves to learn knows I'm in the right place but the wife and caregiver in me really wants to be at home more than ever now. So, as my husband recovers I will hope to recover my focus soon and learn to just let go...