Hard weeks

This past week was a very tough one. The struggle with missing home has really set in, and was almost unbearable this past week. I miss my parents, friends, and my boyfriend so much that it somewhat hurts. I have tried not to think about it, but sometimes it's all that I ever think about. This past Monday, I received a very traumatizing text from Seth. The text simply read, "He passed this morning at 2 am." His grandfather had been fighting for his life the past week or so in the hospital. He finally passed early Monday morning. I know he was not my family or my grandfather, but we were so close, that his passing hurt me somewhat more than I thought it would. I spent all of Monday, crying. I wasn't focussed on my studies like I should have been, which caused me to do poorly on my lab test, but there was really nothing that I could do to change that.

School and traveling plans are getting hard to separate and make time for. The past couple of weekends, I have stayed in Bonn because I need to pick up my studying habits, and get my work together. Staying in Bonn, causes the sadness to set in, and makes me miss home somewhat more than it would if I were to travel. My host mom asks why I don't go anywhere some weekends, and I just simply say that I need to study. I don't want my traveling to cause me to do poorly in my classes. I'm not one to struggle with my studies, but this semester has been somewhat tougher than others. Most days are spent reading Physiology and taking notes.

Seth has officially started a countdown for me to come home. Today is 57 days. Only 57 more days in this amazing country. 57 days to fit in the rest of the traveling that I want to do before I leave. 57 days to get my grades up. 57 days till I get to see my friends and amazing boyfriend. Most people think I'm crazy for already wanting to go home, but they just don't get it until they're actually here. The other students on the trip seem to be having a great time, but I miss my family, I miss the normalities of life in Texas. I'm having a great time here, don't get me wrong. This is a chance of a lifetime! And I'm so glad that I took it, but 5 months is a little too long.

I hope that I can spend these last 2 months or so just taking it all in. I want to go home with a heart full of happiness and fulfilled my adventures that I wanted to do when I arrived in Germany. The days will be hard and shoot, things probably won't always go my way, but I will do my best to enjoy every second that I have left here. Spring break is coming up so soon. I get to see my mom and dad on Saturday, and that I can say I am truly ready for. Italy is going to be amazing! I can finally cross it off my bucket-list. I just have to keep telling myself to have fun and put the sadness aside. It's going to be great!