Retrospective: Fragile Bones, Enduring Experiences

            I have been back in the States for two months and five days and yet it still feels like I just came home. Sometimes the monotony of being back in El Paso will make it feel like I dreamed the whole spring semester but then I just look at my leg and my scar reminds me it all really happened! I have had time to tell family and friends all about my last semester which, in turn, allows me to relive all of my experiences. I wouldn’t say I’m stuck in the past though, if anything I use the memories and knowledge I gained in Germany to work harder and be better as a whole.

   

When I got back on the 9^th of May, I was too tired from the flight to talk much about my experiences. My mom, her fiancée, and I left to College Station the next day and on that 11 hour drive I pretty much talked the whole way, telling them about how exactly I broke my leg and all the adventures I had and all the things I had learned. I was able to reunite with old friends and coworkers in College Station and even better, I got to graduate alongside Sarahi. The whole time we were together, Germany constantly came up as did different memories. We celebrated that night and ran into Clare which made it feel like we were back in Europe. Unfortunately, my time in College Station was soon over and after stopping in Austin for a couple of days, I returned to El Paso with a diploma but still feeling like the exact same person. I spent the next couple of weeks relaxing, trying to adjust to the scorching dry heat of the desert, and visiting family. I grew really restless and decided I needed to find something to do with my time and hopefully earn money to replenish my severely depleted bank account. I soon started volunteering at a veterinary clinic I had volunteered at a couple of years ago and found two small jobs working for United States Customs and Border Protection and babysitting the kids of one of the veterinarians at the clinic. It has kept me busy but in between all the bustle, I’ve had time to really think about everything I experienced abroad.

The first of many graduations!

             The main thing that surprised me about my semester abroad was the realization that breaking my leg was the best thing that could have possibly happened to me. If I hadn’t broken my leg, I never would’ve gotten to truly experience Bonn. A lot of people traveled whenever they could but since I couldn’t travel solo I stayed in Bonn and got to appreciate just how beautiful it was. My numerous trips to the hospital allowed me to grow quite familiar with the area along the route and I always noticed new things. It was on one of these trips back to my apartment from the hospital that the thought, “I could see myself living here one day”, popped into my head while I was looking out the window. I was totally caught off guard. I had never even considered that idea and for it to be so prominent in my mind after only being in Bonn for about a month was eye opening. I also got to form friendships with so many people. I got to know a lot of the student workers since they took me to some of my hospital appointments and they were all kind, funny, and just great people. I got to know Nick and realized how lucky I was to be surrounded by people who cared. I got to know Dr. Burger, my amazing surgeon, and to me he became my German grandpa. I got to know some of the other hospital staff like the receptionist, x-ray technicians, nurses, and the kind lady who brought me my meals when I was in the hospital. Even though I left my host parents about a month into the trip, I have stayed in touch with them and miss them dearly. I also became really close with my classmates and TAs and saw what wonderful people they were. I consider myself incredibly lucky to have been able to form so many relationships with people. This event changed me in more ways than one and knowing I have a network of support and friends in Bonn as well as in College Station was the best thing that could’ve happened to me and I owe all of that to my leg.

What my cool scar looks like now

My leg is back to normal....kind of

The main and most obvious transformation is of course my leg. It still looks different to me and I feel like the shadows of all the bruising I had are still there. The most important transformations I experienced though were not physical. I believe my overall experience abroad cemented the idea I always had of myself of being able to deal with adversity. The first real night in Bonn I got lost on the bus and had to figure out my way back without the use of my phone since it was close to dying. I didn’t freak out though and after wandering around while it was snowing I eventually found my way back on the bus and got home. I think I also did a pretty good job of handling the whole broken leg situation which was probably the most challenging experience I’ve ever faced. I had to learn how to use crutches and do everyday activities using one leg and the limited use of my hands since they were always holding the crutches. I am pretty independent and had to learn how to ask for help. I realize now though that it’s okay to ask for help and that there are times when not asking for help is actually the weaker decision. This trip also increased confidence in myself and made me truly appreciate my positive outlook on things. I’ve always known that shit happens but I know now that I can deal with anything because of my personality and the innate kindness in people which I experienced through my classmates, professors, and AIB.

The “boon” I brought back with me varies. I of course have my awesome scar from surgery but also have the less pleasant side effects of my injury. My leg occasionally hurts especially on the opposite side of the injury site. I still can’t run very well but I have managed to do some easy hikes. I can now stand for long periods of time but when I get home from the clinic I usually need to rest my leg. I still have physical therapy with my uncle so it’ll only get better.  The other boon I came back with were the amazing friendships I made on the trip. I also brought back a lifetime of memories and experiences that influence the way I see and interact with the world. I have learned to appreciate the big exciting moments in life but also the smaller moments of spending time with family and friends. I also brought back with me a newfound appreciation for the human body. It was crazy that I had to essentially learn how to walk again once I got off the crutches. I had to rebuild all the muscle in my leg that had atrophied and I feel like it’s back to normal. I’ll never take walking or being able to stand for granted again and I wake up every day happy and thankful that I don’t need those crutches for the rest of my life.

First hike on my new leg!

                Not only was a semester abroad the best way to finish my undergraduate degree, it was, to this day, the best thing I’ve ever done in my life. I’m incredibly grateful I got to see and experience so much. Even with my injury I was able to travel to 8 different countries, Germany, the Netherlands, Austria, France, Belgium, Ireland, England, and Italy, and countless cities. I formed friendships I truly believe will last a lifetime and got the motivation to one day live in Germany. None of that would’ve been possible without the amazing people on the trip. I can never say it enough, but a million thanks to AIB, my classmates, Kristin, Dr. Wasser, the student workers, and Nick. They all took such great care of me and I’m forever indebted to them for working with me and allowing me to partake on the incredible journey that it was. Vielen Dank!

The best group of people in the world!!