So this will be my second post in one night, the last week as had two major things for me...the trip to Paris and another doctor's visit. So this is on a very personal level but I don't really care who knows and maybe it might just help someone else on this trip, or the next program that stumbles across this random post on the Biosciences blog. I'm a really stubborn person and being older than the rest of the students, I'm pretty set in my ways and the hardest thing for me is to ask for help. Finally I had to. There's the point where the stress of both the major and minor things happening at home along with the travels and classwork can get too much. For me the major stress was big stress..my husband's heart attack, my cousin's death, my son's appendectomy and my father's cancer diagnosis. I can honestly say although my grades really suck right now in terms of where they usually are, it would probably be worse if I wasn't here because there is time for extra help and flexibility that comes with a study abroad program that you just don't get at home in classes of 100+ students. Even though I can get help on an academic level easily it's much harder to ask for help on a personal level but I did so last week I made my first (and probably not my last) visit to a psychologist. I've done family counseling before for behavior management with my children, but never have I been the one to directly sit across from the doctor and talk about just me. Truthfully at home when I have spells of anxiety and depression I call my general practice doctor and she just prescribes a pill, which I haven't had to take in years but I was at that point again.
So in my one hour visit there was a lot to talk about and actually a lot to learn. One thing he did say to me that kinda really hit home was that when we go through major stressors in life many times we forget to take the time to heal. We forget to grieve and we just keep moving and that many times depression or anxiety can be the psyche's way of telling us to slow down and deal with things. While if you had major surgery you would take the time off work or school to allow your body to heal but when have emotional stress or trauma, like loosing a loved one, many times as humans we sweep things under the rug and keep going. Sometimes the mind needs time to rest and heal too. My next weekend will be about taking some personal time to just breathe and rest and deal with everything that's happened this semester.
There were so many other things talked about aside from the big things and I discovered a lot about myself and what I'm going through. Much more than expected really. Study abroad can be wonderful, and stressful and exciting and exhausting and such a crazy roller coaster of emotions all by itself which is why study abroad is a life-altering experience. Extra stress from home makes that harder but even if you don't have extra stress and things are a more overwhelming than usual and you have depression or anxiety issues there's no shame in asking for help. Hey, even if you don't think going to a psychologist will help, it's just an hour of your time to find out. For me it was an hour well worth it because sometimes you just can not do it on your own, you need someone standing on the outside to show you what's obviously there to work your way through things.
No comments:
Post a Comment