Next Stop...Germany!

I’m currently staring at the massive pile of clothes sitting on my bed that I have yet to pack. Tomorrow is my last full day in Texas before I embark on the experience I have dreamt of for quite some time. It really only hit me a few hours ago that I am leaving “home” for almost five months. The nerves have set in, and I am stressing. I’m stressed that I only have one more day to be with my family. I’m stressed that I only have one more day to cuddle my two dogs. I’m stressed that I have barely begun the odyssey of packing my suitcases. But amidst all the stress, my excitement for this trip has set in as well.

I’m excited to experience a real winter again, one with cold weather. The ample amount of sweaters, hats, and scarves I received for Christmas will surely be put to good use. I’m excited to live in such a beautiful country. Germany is incredibly beautiful. The nature is refreshing; the towns are picturesque; the culture is lively. I am undoubtedly excited for the food. My mom has been raving about the endless amount of fresh bread. All I can say is bring on the carbs! I’m excited to spend the next semester with a group of truly awesome people and live with such a giving host family. I can’t wait to get to know everyone better and experience studying abroad together. Before I leave, however, I wanted to say a few words to some important people in my life…

To my parents, I love you. I cannot express to you what you both mean to me. I am so appreciative of everything you have done for me. Thank you for all the laughter and fun times, all the teaching moments, and all the love. Thank you for allowing me to go to Germany and have this opportunity. You guys rock.

To my little sisters, I will miss you. Hard to believe, right? No matter how annoying the two of you can be, I will miss you. Thank you for all the sarcasm, sarcasm, and more sarcasm. You guys are fun sometimes.

To my friends I’m leaving behind, be prepared for an excessive amount of stories when I come back. Five months is a long time, and I’m still not quite sure how I’m going to last that long without you all. Thanks for always being there. I will miss all of you as well.

To my two dogs, I freaking love you guys. I’m expecting a huge welcome when I come back.

Finally, to myself, I hope you have the time of your life. I hope you travel to as many places as you can. I hope you meet lots of new friends. I hope you learn to speak German and learn about German culture. I hope you try new things. I hope you come back a better person.

See you soon… or should I say bis bald.

Lots of love,

Ashley  

I Have Confidence!

So it approaches: the apocalypse. Drama, I know. But my life is neat, ordered, and I enjoy the comfort of my small bubble-world. I don’t mind the simplicity (code-word for dull, or so I’ve been told) of it. So yeah, I guess in terms of me, getting on a plane to Germany is sort of the apocalypse. ‘Getting on a plane’ seems too dull a way to describe it, though. I tell myself I’m embarking on adventure, à la Frodo Baggins—(er, side note, does that make Dr. Wasser Gandalf?) When I picture myself going to Germany I think of floating across the Atlantic in a colourful hot air balloon… kinda wish I were going that way! Any takers? 

I can’t deny that over the past few months my feelings have flitted between anxiousness, elation, apprehension, and sheer excitement. Oh, and sadness every now and then when I look at my dog. I said to her yesterday when we were at the park, ‘Science says you’ll think I’m dead in two weeks, Mae.’ She just wagged her tail. Oh well. I guess when I get back she’ll think I’m Jesus.

I’ve been playing videogames like mad since school got out, like an addict anticipating withdrawal. I guess it won’t be too much of a deprivation, but still. I’ll probably disrupt this entry at some point, sprint upstairs and weirdly stroke the controller… ‘Goodbye’. Oh god, I’ve personified it. Also, I’ve come to realize I worship at the altar of Netflix. And my books. Do they have English language books in Germany? I look at my chosen few and think: you will have to sustain me. Is this what going on weight watchers feels like? But with books? ...I’ll be starving by February.

So as the year passes the anthem of my life changes. The acceptance letter came and, this being Texas, the leaves took their sweet time falling, so Fall hit without really hitting. The anthem of my summer, ‘I Will Survive’ (hey, it was my third semester of summer school, I’m sure you all understand) bled into Julie Andrew’s ‘I Have Confidence’. So I’ve been lip-synching Julie Andrews in the shower, lip-synching Julie Andrews cooking, lip-synching Julie Andrews doing Pilates. Lip-synching because, trust me, when I sing the effect is thoroughly ruined. It’s been the song running circles through my head as I pranced to and from class at A&M. It seems strange to think a new song will be replacing it soon as I traipse around Bonn. It just seems so fitting, as the days count down these verses have been playing over and over in my head:

‘It could be so exciting, to be out in the world to be free! My heart should be wildly rejoicing. Oh what’s the matter with me?

I have always longed for adventure, to do the things I never dared! Now, here I’m facing adventure, then why am I so scared?’

When I think of Germany I think of all the progress I’m going to make there. I think of myself as a turtle peaking out of its shell. I’ve lived a slow life so far, but maybe it’s about to speed up. I’m thinking of me in sunglasses right now with a non-alcoholic martini, ‘Yeah, living life in the fast lane’ (*nods head vigorously*). Honestly, I’ll probably be dazed and disoriented by the end of this trip. I want to be able to wrap my mouth around some of those tongue-twisting German words, to feel confident going places and interacting with people. I want to become a suave person. Do you think I’m pulling your leg? Yeah, not like I’m going to divulge my deepest dark secrets on a public blog.

This has been oddly therapeutic. Already I’m reaching the climax of ‘I Have Confidence’

‘I have confidence in sunshine! I have confidence in rain! I have confidence that spring will come again! Besides which, you see, I have confidence in me!’

Let’s hope that rings true.

Ciao. Ashleigh

It's the Final Countdown

It's The Final Countdown

      

      Well the day is almost here. I depart for Germany in less than three days, and the nerves are starting to set in. I guess when the trip was a couple of months away, my excitement masked my fears. Although I am getting nervous, I know that this trip is the opportunity of a lifetime, and I cannot wait to see what this next chapter of my life has in store for me. 

      A few things have proven to be difficult the closer I get to leaving... Packing for starters. Being a girl with a slight obsession with fashion, packing for sixteen weeks and one day is tough. Not only am I packing for sixteen weeks, but also for two different seasons and every possible weather outcome... It is a struggle... Especially since I just started packing today (which is a little less than three days before we fly out.) Another thing that caused some stress was picking out the perfect gift for my host family. After countless bad ideas, I finally settled on a mug and a book that perfectly explains how to understand me... "How to Speak Texan." Being from East Texas, I use a lot of "slang" that is probably not understood by people who don't know me, so I figured this gift may help my host family out a little. Finally, saying "see you soon" to my friends and family has been the most difficult obstacle between me and Germany. I am a huge family person, so leaving is going to be tough. Luckily, my family is so supportive and has made the absolute best out of my last few weeks at home. I feel incredibly lucky to have them supporting me throughout my journey.

      Thats enough about the stuff that scares me... Lets talk about what I look forward to. I seriously cannot wait to see the world and get a better understanding of other cultures. Having never left the United States, I don't really know what to expect... I just want to make the most of my time in Germany and create memories that will last a lifetime. I want to take spontaneous trips with my friends and go to little towns that most people would never think to visit. I want to build friendships that are everlasting and to learn about life in other parts of the world. I am so thankful for the opportunity to spend an entire semester abroad and I plan to enjoy every second of it. 

      I know that I may seem more scared than excited, and I will admit that I am afraid. But I think that a healthy amount of fear is good, and I know that my excitement outweighs my fear. I cannot wait to board the plane to Germany in two days, twenty hours and three minutes. I'll see ya in Bonn.

Gig'em and God Bless. 

Thoughts before the BIG journey!

It has finally hit me. I will be leaving for journey in 3 days! There are so many different things running through my mind right now. I am filled with so much excitement, sadness, and curiosity that I'm honestly not sure what to do about it all. There are thoughts of "What if I miss my flight?", "What if I can't find where the meeting spot is when I land in Frankfurt?", "What if I don't make any friends?", etc. You can't help but to think about all of these things at my age. Even with all of these questions running through my head, I try my best to stay positive.

When I applied for this trip, I had no idea that there was actually a real chance of being chosen to go. It was completely spontaneous, and I didn't see a reason to not try, so I went for it! When I received my congratulatory email, I just sat in my living room and cried, TEARS OF JOY...of course! I have always dreamed about studying abroad, and now that dream is becoming a reality. I didn't tell my parents about the trip or even that I had applied until after I was chosen to go. I was scared of their reactions and what they would say. I had a fear that they wouldn't even let me go, but as I sat them down and told them about the trip, what we would be doing, and what a big accomplishment this was, they were so encouraging and supporting in letting me go. Then the real planning started!

Christmas break was filled with lots of shopping, saying goodbyes, and final packing in order to get ready for the big day! Now as the final countdown has begun, I'm starting to get a feeling of sadness for the ones that I will miss so much while I am gone. My friends, family, and awesome boyfriend have ensured me that they will all be here when I get back, and of course I know this, it's just hard to leave them all behind for so long. When the feelings of sadness come along, I try to think of the great things that I will be getting to do while in Germany. These feelings of excitement seem to somewhat conquer the feelings of sadness that sneak in. I'm excited to make new friends with my peers that are going to be by my side in Bonn. Four months is a long time to be alone with new people, but hopefully by the end of the trip we will have all made great friends to last a lifetime.

Just a month ago, I was contacted by my host family, the Aldenhoff-Schilling's. This was another exciting part of the preparation for Germany. I am so excited to finally meet this wonderful family who has offered to take me in for the next four months! They have two kids, a little boy and girl, who I only hope to build a great relationship with along with the mother and father. I hope that I can learn the Germany lifestyle from them so that I can get accustomed to living in the country. I've never thought about learning German, but with their help, I pray that I can get the hang of it!

Now it is time to go back to packing, and to making sure that I have absolutely everything before I leave on Tuesday. The journey is getting close, and I hope and pray that it will be the journey of a lifetime! The next time I sit and write on this blog, I will be in Bonn.
Tschüss für heute!

Pre-Germany Blog

Friday January 8, 2016

Pre-Germany Blog

As of today, there are only five more days until I leave for Germany. I am very excited to begin a this new and exciting phase in my life, although I feel a little strange about having to maintain a blog about it because I have never felt the need to maintain a journal or log of any kind to remember all of the good times that I've had. I also feel a little concerned trying to figure out what to pack and trying to get everything organized before I leave.

Both Gunnar and I have received emails from our host family, and they seem to be very excited and nice people. I am excited to be living with kids my own age as well as having a family who is Portuguese, for I will learn more about both the Portuguese culture as well as the German culture while I am over there. We are living with a mother, her three children, and a dog, although two of the children are studying elsewhere at some University and will come home over the weekends. I am just grateful for the opportunity to be allowed to live with a family and will make sure to show my gratitude to them.

As the date of our departure approaches, I find that I am not anxious, but rather ready for this next chapter in my life. I feel that it will be good for me to go somewhere new for a change and experience new things and make new friends for a while, for I do not want to feel like I am just living a tedious life of routine. Although I recognize that I will be missing quite a bit of important things in the United States and that life will move on while I am away, I also recognize that this experience will help me to grow and will be unlike anything I have ever experienced before. Ultimately, I am looking forward to living abroad for a semester, although I am saddened at the thought of missing my brothers' Confirmations and not being able to be a sponsor for a good friend of mine, for Confirmation was a huge part of my life and is an essential part of life for any Catholic.

I am most looking forward to meeting new people, making new friends, and trying new things. I feel that talking to new people, no matter how different they might be, will not be difficult for me, and I am not at all concerned about trying to adjust to the different atmosphere and culture. I feel like the hardest thing for me will be learning the language and initially trying to overcome my instinct to act like an American.

In conclusion, I am excited and am ready to go to Germany. I look in anticipation towards the future wondering what will happen when I get there, and I am comforted knowing that my family and friends are happy for me and will continue to be happy and supportive when I'm gone. I can't believe that the next time I write in Blogger, I will be in Germany; it is a dream come true.

Next Chapter to My Book

I believe that you really don't get to experience the choices you make until they are laid out in front of you, and you have nowhere else to go. I never once thought I would ever study abroad or much less live somewhere else for five months. Learning about the trip on paper or in orientation sparks a much different feeling then saying goodbye to all your family and friends for 5 months, in going to an unknown environment.

In saying all of this, I would not trade this experience for anything. I like to believe that I am a person who adapts well to unknown environments and can make the most of everything. Saying goodbye to friends and family is and was rough. When you deep down begin to think about the length and location of the trip, you realize that you are going to a place where Americans are not always welcomed and you are no longer only a few hours away if something is to happen but 15. My biggest fear or sadness comes from the possibility of missing out on so much while I am away, but I try to counter this with the new possibilities I will be given. Europe is a dream of many Americans and in the end, at the end of the 5 months, I know I will not have wanted it no other way.

I can not lie and say that I am not at all worried, nervous, scared, and sad. However
I am ready and excited to embrace all of the fun and crazy aspects of not only the German, but the whole European culture. Knowing very little about my host family except that they have 3 sporty kids and that I am not their first host child, leaves a lot of room for imagination as well. Being a very laid back person, I am very excited to see how the first couple weeks will go for my host family as well as for me living there. I have no doubt in my mind that the group of people I will be traveling with will grow as a family and be there for each other.

I can not wait to step onto my plane in Dallas and know that the next time I get off of it I will be in Germany. I am ready to go even further out of my comfort zone and allow for this once in a life time opportunity to be a once in a lifetime experience.

DEUTSCHLAND. JAAAA.

As I sit here at my kitchen table, I observe several things.
1) My countdown for Germany is getting awfully close to zero-- 4 days, 18 hours, 50 minutes, and 28...27...26...  It's hard to believe that countdown started ticking about eighty days ago.
2) I just ate chips and salsa.  Do Germans eat chips and salsa?
3) I am wearing a USA hat.  To avoid being seen as a tacky tourist, I will be leaving this at home...

All jokes aside, studying abroad has been on my mind for many years, since sophomore or junior year of high school if not sooner.  During the fall of my freshman year in college, I spoke with an advisor about the process of choosing and applying for a study abroad.  Little did I know this dream would actually come true.

The dream became one step closer to reality today with one important milestone.  I have conquered the challenge of packing for 110+ days within airline weight restrictions.  Laugh all you want, but that was quite difficult, my friend.  Amidst the many clothes it takes to prepare for weather of all sorts, a space waits to be filled with a gift for my host family.  The idea of living with a host family summons a mixture of feelings, though excitement takes priority.  I am excited to meet them-- husband, wife, four children, and the two cats, Mauzi and Schnulli. (Lol, fitting?  I think yes.)  I am excited for us to learn about each other and to learn from them as much as they are willing to teach me.  I am excited to become a friend to their kids, especially their youngest and only daughter, Christina.  My main concern is the language barrier, but my host mom tells me "when you talk slowly it should be no problem."  Simple enough, right?  Hopefully, my German winter-mester on Duolingo will pay off.

Recently, I have realized a mindset that I, and many other students no doubt, have fallen into and while it is not inherently bad, we will have to be cautious of it.  As an ambitious, spontaneous, and adventurous almost-twenty year old girl, it's so easy to think "Awesome, we can go to this city this weekend and hike in this country the next weekend.  Maybe we should go skiing on a long weekend and to a mediterranean beach another."  Balancing the opportunities to travel with the remarkable privileges of learning abroad and working with a company will be challenging, but I look forward to making this life-changing journey with excellent professors, graduate students, and my wonderful peers, who will undoubtedly become close friends.  I don't think fear or nerves will hit at all (that ain't my style), but to everyone flying out of Dallas, if you see me running up and down the halls of the airport, the excitement has officially hit.