Ich Vermisse Dich, Deutschland

I was looking back through pictures from the last semester yesterday, and my heart hurt because I miss it so much. Going into the study abroad I didn't expect to change much. I didn't expect to change at all really, I just thought I was going to go on a bunch of cool trips and have some fun doing school in some place a million times more interesting than College Station. The trip turned out to be much more than I had hoped and I wouldn't trade my experience there for anything.

A lot of people that study abroad talk about how much fun they have, the cool places they go, and the friends they make in their program. Before going, I never really heard people from past study abroad trips talk about how much they loved their host families, which is probably why the most unexpected part of my trip was how close I got to my host parents. I was lucky to be with my host family. My host family had 2 kids close to my age, but they did not live at home and rarely visited, but I got to know my host mom well and I enjoyed mornings starting our day together, sitting in the evening and talking with her and going out with her. She was a lot of fun and played a big part in my immersion in German culture. I have talked to her several times since my return to the states and I miss her so much. When I left my American family in January it wasn't very hard because I knew I would be back in a few short months, but when I left my German family it was extremely difficult because I had to say goodbye to people I had grown close to, unsure when I would get to see them again. Without my great host family my experience would have been a lot different.

In addition to the German people I got to know, I also got to know the other people in the program very well. This group was really great and I am so thankful that I got to know these awesome people so much better than I would have just taking classes like normal at A&M. There wasn't much choice in who to hang out with because there weren't very many of us, but in my opinion, we were really lucky that we had such a great group of people to be forced to be friends with. I am especially thankful that I got placed in Bad Godesberg because there were 5 of us that all lived close together and it was easy to spend time with them. It is just sad that since we are all back in College Station doing different things it will be much harder to all spend time together like we did.

Not only did I learn a lot about individual people, I also learned a lot about people as a whole. Having only been in America for 20 years before this trip, I had a narrow frame of reference as far as society and world culture goes. I thought I was very open minded before, but my eyes were really opened living in a different country for 4 months. In Germany the pace of life was different, slower in my opinion. Also people spend more time together and work less. They have experienced more of the world, so they are much less ignorant in general about important topics; I never realized how isolated Americans were until I saw what was outside. It makes so much sense to me to slow down, spend more quality time with people, and experience the world.

I also had great experiences outside of Germany. Traveling to many different countries was an amazing opportunity. I was able to learn how to get around in places where I couldn't speak the language, and was able to experience even more culture outside of Germany. It was fun to see the differences in life in different European countries. This past semester I spent all my time in Western European countries, but if I were to go back I would really like to spend time in Eastern Europe. There would be such a huge difference in the east vs. west. I guess I will need to save that for my next trip over!

This last semester made me realize how much I don't know about the world, as well as how much I want to go discover more about it. I learned a lot, made good friends, and left with a lot to think about. I am so blessed to have gone on this trip and I am thankful that Dr. Wasser started this program and enables young people to have that experience.

Bis später Deutschland.

P.S. I learned a lot of German while I was over there, but I have been doing Rosetta Stone in German so that I can communicate better when I go back!

Was it all a dream?

So that's it. I'm back in America and have been for over a month and a half now. I'm working two jobs and taking summer classes. My semester abroad is over and all I have left from it are memories. Pictures I can show people and talk about.

But is that all I really came back with?

I have had a very interesting first two years of school here at Texas A&M. I've kind of compared my relationship to this school as a couple who has had a kid and wants to get a divorce but are going to stick together to raise the kid until it graduates.

In this analogy, the kid is my biomedical engineering degree and the couple is Texas A&M and I.
These first two years, I've thought to myself "Why did I choose Texas A&M? What made me want to go here?" And I'll be honest, I've been looking at other schools to transfer to. Being in College Station, not being able to have a personal connection with your teacher, not being able to get close with all your peers in your major, it was really disheartening. I really didn't think I was doing college right. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to stick with biomedical engineering. All of these other kids around me who had secured research positions, internships, just seemed so much more qualifies then I was for this major.

My viewpoint changed thanks to this trip. This study abroad experience was probably the best thing that could've happened to me while I've been at Texas A&M. I am so incredibly thankful for how everything turned out on that trip. The journeys I went on with now some of my closest friends, the bonds I was able to build with my professors and TA's, the connections I now have in Germany, the culture I was able to experience. I really can't even begin to describe in words what this trip was to me.

I went in on this trip having no experience in biomedical engineering, my GPA was subpar, I was very under qualified when comparing resumé's to other students, I had no understanding of Europe or any of the surrounding countries, no connections with any of my professors, nothing.

I came back with study abroad experience, working for a startup biomedical engineering company experience, connections with professors and TA's, close friends within the department of BMEN, a research position that a professor set up for me,  a semester GPA of 3.8 (the highest it's been since I've been at A&M), and a whole new understanding of the world.

This trip was honestly life changing. I am so incredibly thankful for everything that happened on the trip. Being paired with a roommate who I had no idea of at the beginning made the trip even better. Living with a host family who was so incredibly friendly and laid back, was awesome. I know I've matured and I know that I'm ready to continue my growth as a biomedical engineer.

So no, pictures and souvenirs were not the only thing I came back with on this trip. There is nothing that I could complain about (except maybe the wifi that kept cutting in and out at the AIB) for this trip. The city of Bonn was great. Germany was great. Europe was great. I am so thankful for the length of the program as well. I feel that if it was any shorter, or longer, I wouldn't have appreciated it as much. Being away for just a semester really made everything tie in and left me wanting more. I so want to go back.

The AIB and Kristin and Tete and Dr. Wasser really surpassed all of my expectations for this trip. Dr. Wasser had talked it up and made it sound like it was going to be so much better than it actually was. But it was so much better then how he explained it. The fact that I was able to look at pieces of art, or sculptures, or different cathedrals and have the audacity to say "meh I liked the other one better" still kind of blows my mind. How many 20 year olds can say that? How many can say "I liked the Dom in Cologne better than the Duomo in Milan." My guess is not very many.

I think about the trip still everyday. And I know I will for the rest of my life. Just little instances that happen bring me back to the AIB, and Bonn, and Germany where I can remember me doing something that seemed so insignificant then, but so significant now.

I am so thankful for this trip and the people I've met.

I hope I've entertained you with all the stories and recollections I've had from this trip. Sorry for the sappy post on the the last blog ever. I'll end with a corny joke:

If your an American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom?

European.

Signing off.

Ryan

Looking back across the pond

This past Spring was a once in a lifetime experience. I got to travel to nine different countries, make memories with some of my best friends, and grow so much as a person. While I cannot say that going abroad went without sacrifice, it was still a journey I am glad I embarked on.

Getting to travel abroad on my own was truly the biggest learning experience. Going to a new country every weekend and figuring out how to navigate your way through the unknown, communicate with people who speak an entirely different language, and having to deal with the "hiccups" all on your own really make you test your limits. I am now confident that I could travel anywhere in the world successfully and more than that, I know that I am able to face even the most difficult problems with a calm logical approach.

I think my favorite part of the program was getting to travel. I will never again have the chance to spend four months just traveling around the world, and especially at such a low expense. I am so grateful for all the support I had during this experience both financially and morally. Although it was a stressful time to be abroad, it was eye opening to the opinions and problems facing the world, not just Europe, the world. The cultural knowledge I gained on this trip was truly valuable. Much like at home where there are several varied opinions, the world is a melting pot of different cultural views, political systems, and lifestyles that definitely don't make sense to us all, but there is a beautiful respect that you find when you get to emerge yourself in all of it.

The most difficult part of the trip were the sacrifices I had to make. Leaving my family and friends behind for an entire semester was one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do. I went from a world of the most supportive and intentional best friends to my engineering clan. Don't get me wrong, I love my engineering friends with all my heart, but there is an innate competitiveness that comes with an engineering degree which tends to be exaggerated when you trap 20 some engineers across the ocean together for four months. I went from getting to spend regular quality time with my boyfriend (okay yes I know this is super cliche and annoying but stick with me) to only getting a skype date once a month.

The most difficult part was having to leave my family for so long. The real pain came after I got home. Within hours of getting off the plane I learned that my grandma, my best friend, my rock was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer that had metastasized only four days after I arrived in Europe. The entire time I was over there I had no idea what my family was going through back home. I was absolutely devastated. This woman is my biggest role model and the strongest person I know, I didn't understand how or why something like this would happen to her. What was worse is that I couldn't be there to help her through any of it. The news definitely gave me a new perspective on my journey abroad. My family neglected to tell me about my grandma's situation until I was home, so that I would be able to enjoy my time abroad. They knew I was already having a hard time being away from home, and that learning about the news would have me on a plane in hours. On one hand I am glad that they waited to tell me, because I know that I will never get another experience like this again. However, on the other hand and outweighing my previous statement, I truly deeply wish I would have known. I would've given anything to be back at home by my grandma's side. She is way more important to me and the trip just wasn't worth not being there for her. That being said, I do need to clarify, my choice to go home would have had everything to do with timing. Knowing what I know now, I would have most definitely planned to return to Europe to complete a study abroad program.

Yes, it is true that I regret going abroad when I did, but I do not regret the experiences that I gained and ways I grew as a person. The program was by no means perfect, but I think the imperfections are where I gained the most knowledge. If it was easy, if it was a perfect trip, sure it would have been less stressful, but that wouldn't have pushed us all into learning more about ourselves.